Stress Regulation Through Touch | Devah Curlechéile: How Conscious Touch Rewires Trauma in Your Body | #156
How Breaking His Back Led This Irish Coach to Discover Revolutionary Sexual Healing
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"I've never been touched like that before."
Devah Curlechéile hears these words from clients around the world, but his journey to becoming a renowned sensual remembrance coach began in the most unexpected place: flat on his back, unable to move, questioning everything he thought he knew about intimacy.
At 27, a devastating back injury left this Irish native bedridden for two months. Trapped in a back brace that made breathing difficult, Devah faced a choice that would alter the trajectory of his life—and eventually, the lives of countless others seeking sexual healing.
When Forced Stillness Becomes Sacred Discovery
Growing up in Catholic Ireland wasn't easy for someone questioning their sexuality. Devah never saw two men holding hands until he was 25. At his boarding school, "gay" was thrown around as an insult. Sexuality was something hidden behind closed doors, wrapped in shame and secrecy.
"The patriarchy has sometimes objectified women," Devah explains in his recent appearance on the Sex Reimagined podcast with hosts Leah Piper and Dr. Willow Brown. "Our partner is not something to be used or to get an experience out of."
But lying in that hospital bed, unable to escape his own thoughts and limited mobility, Devah remembered books he'd previously dismissed: "The Dao of Sexology" and "The Multiorgasmic Man." A former lover had introduced these texts years earlier, but he wasn't ready to receive the information then.
Now, with nowhere to run from himself, everything changed.
FULL AUDIO EPISODE HERE đ§
FULL VIDEO EPISODE HERE đ„
The First Touch That Changed Everything
Unable to breathe fully due to his back brace, Devah began his first intentional self-pleasure practice. Using oil, moving slowly, he learned to connect with his own body in ways he'd been desperately trying to connect with lovers for years.
"I had to figure it out myself," he shares. "I didn't have a mentor and I didn't have a guide."
Having been attuned to Reiki the year before, Devah already understood energy work. But this was different. This was reclaiming his relationship with his own sexuality, one careful breath at a time.
From Confusion to Clarity: The Pansexual Journey
Devah's path to understanding his own sexuality wasn't linear. He swung between thinking he was straight or gay based on individual experiences, leading to years of confusion.
"Can I love a man the way I love a woman?" he asked himself. "Can I experience that sense of union in lovemaking the way that I experience it with women?"
The answer became yes, and this discovery fueled his passion to help others navigate their own sexual healing journeys.
"I would say pansexual, if anything at all," Devah explains. "I just see people's souls and their essence and that attracts me."
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The Science Behind Sexual Healing
What Devah discovered during his recovery aligns with cutting-edge neuroscience. During intimate connection, the brain floods with oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine—the same neurotransmitters released during psychedelic experiences.
"When people take mushrooms, when people take MDMA, it's the same experience that their brain gets flooded with serotonin," Devah explains. "And sex is a way that we can do that without the psychedelics."
In these expanded, relaxed states, suppressed emotions have space to arise and move through the nervous system. This creates opportunities for profound healing that goes far beyond the physical.
Revolutionary Approach to Conscious Touch
Today, Devah works with individuals worldwide, offering a unique approach to sexual healing that often begins fully clothed. His method focuses on nervous system regulation before any physical intimacy occurs.
Key elements of his approach include:
- Creating safety through presence and active listening
- Moving away from "getting something" language toward co-creative experiences
- Using eye gazing and conscious breathing to regulate nervous systems
- Incorporating techniques like EFT tapping for emotional release
- Establishing clear boundaries that cannot be downgraded during sessions
The 24-Hour Healing Experience
For clients dealing with significant trauma, Devah offers extended 24-hour sessions that begin with something as simple as herbal tea on a couch—activating deeply ingrained relaxation responses in the nervous system.
"All throughout our lives, for most people, we've associated having a hot cup of something sitting down on the sofa as relaxation time," he explains.
These sessions move through breathwork, conscious touch, and emotional processing, always within the client's established boundaries.
Managing the Love That Heals
One of the most delicate aspects of Devah's work involves clients who develop romantic feelings during the healing process... "Love is a part of the medicine that I offer," he shares honestly. "It's an integral part of the experience. I show up in full love, full openhearted acceptance of the person in front of me when I'm in session with them."
When clients express desire for a deeper relationship, Devah frames it as a celebration: "Remember when you came to me and you felt like you were so unlovable... and now you're in this space where you want to be in a relationship. You did it."
The Existential Kink Breakthrough
One of the most powerful techniques Devah shares involves combining sexual energy with challenging emotions—a method inspired by Carolyn Elliott's "Existential Kink."
The process:
- Focus on the body sensation of your challenge, not the mental story
- Imagine the universe is having its way with you in your preferred manner
- Breathe sexual arousal through your body using the microcosmic orbit
- Allow the pleasure energy to neutralize uncomfortable sensations
"Worrying is praying for the worst possible outcome," Devah observes. "When it's on repeat in your mind, you're basically just saying the prayer again and again."
Healing Collective Trauma
Devah's work extends beyond individual healing to addressing collective sexual trauma, particularly around feminine sexuality.
"Women are so wise, they can hold so much. They're so brave and courageous," he emphasizes. "Just getting down to the root of that, listening to women, getting curious about what their experience is... their voices are just so valuable."
He believes sexual healing must begin with basic respect—being seen, heard, and valued—before moving into physical intimacy.
The Transformation Continues
From a broken back to breakthrough healer, Devah's journey illustrates that our deepest wounds often become our greatest gifts. His approach offers hope for anyone seeking to heal sexual trauma, deepen intimacy, or simply understand their own sexuality more fully.
"Everyone is their own healer," Devah reminds us. "I show up in full love, full openhearted acceptance of the person in front of me when I'm in session with them. And within that space of loving acceptance, people heal themselves."
LINKS & RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE CAN BE FOUND ON THE WEBSITE HERE
Ready to explore sexual healing for yourself?
Listen to the full conversation with Devah Curlechéile on the Sex Reimagined Podcast with hosts Leah Piper and Dr. Willow Brown.
Sexual healing is possible. Your journey toward deeper intimacy and self-acceptance can begin today.
> LINKS AND RESOURCES FROM THE EPISODE *some links below may also be affiliate links*
- Devah's Website
- Book: "Existential Kink" by Carolyn Elliott
- Book: "The âMultiorgasmic Man" by Mantak Chia
sexual healing, Devah Curlechéile, trauma rewiring, conscious touch, nervous system, Sex Reimagined Podcast, Leah Piper, Dr. Willow Brown, pansexual, existential kink, somatic healing, tantra, MDMA therapy, microcosmic orbit
