Are You Having Enough S/x? | Leah & Dr. Willow: Why the Comparison Trap Kills Intimacy | #145
Are You Sabotaging Your Sex Life by Comparing It to Everyone Else's?
FULL VIDEO EPISODE HERE š„
The hidden truth about why that "perfect" couple you envy might be crying themselves to sleep at night.
Picture this: You're scrolling through Instagram on a lazy Sunday morning, coffee in hand, when you see them again. That gorgeous couple from your feed who seems to have it all figured out. Perfect bodies, romantic getaways, steamy date nights, and what looks like the most passionate relationship on the planet.
And just like that, you're spiraling.
"Why don't we have sex like that anymore?" "When did I stop feeling sexy?" "What's wrong with us?"
If this sounds familiar, you're not alone. In fact, you're part of a generation drowning in what relationship experts Leah Piper and Dr. Willow Brown call the comparison trap - and it's quietly destroying our sexual confidence.
The Social Media Lie That's Killing Your Intimacy
Here's the brutal truth that Leah Piper and Dr. Willow Brown reveal in their latest Sex Reimagined Podcast episode: that "perfect" couple you're envying? They might be having the worst sex of their lives behind closed doors.
"We're constantly looking at the bright side of people's lives, not the shadow side," explains Dr. Willow. "That couple you think has it all is going through just as much internal stuff as everyone else."
The hosts should know. Between them, they've worked with thousands of couples struggling with the exact same insecurities you're feeling right now.
When Comparison Becomes Your Sexual Kryptonite
Leah gets painfully honest about her own 20-year battle with body image: "I spent most of my adult life overweight, always wrestling with my desirability and feeling like I had to dig very deep to find that light, that radiance from the inside to make the outside worthy of someone's sexual attraction."
But here's where her story takes a surprising turn. Years later, looking back at photos from when she felt most insecure, she realized something shocking: "I really was amazing. I really was amazing."
Dr. Willow's journey was different but equally devastating. Growing up in Southern California with what she calls "Barbie-shaped perfect standards," she developed eating disorders despite having the "ideal" body type. "I still had the same kind of comparing self-deprivation, self-hatred around my body and not feeling good enough."
The Performance Anxiety Nobody Talks About
One of the most eye-opening moments in their conversation comes when they tackle a question most couples are too embarrassed to ask: Who struggles more with sexual performance anxiety - men or women?
The answer? It's surprisingly equal.
"I see a lot of people come in getting support in our kind of work, and what it comes down to is they're tackling confidence," Leah explains. "They want to feel skillful, they want to feel competent. They want to know that they can rely on their body expressing itself 'right' or better."
But here's the kicker: we're not born knowing this stuff. Sexual confidence is a skill, and nobody teaches us how to develop it.
The Golden Arrow That Changes Everything
So how do you break free from the comparison trap that's sabotaging your sex life?
Dr. Willow shares what she calls the "Golden Arrow" technique: "Anytime I'm feeling envy or jealousy, I always know that's a golden arrow pointing to the thing that I really want. Instead of wasting time in turmoil about what I don't have, I can spend that same energy moving toward creating that thing in my own life."
This isn't just positive thinking - it's a complete mindset revolution.
What Actually Makes Sex Mind-Blowing
Here's what might surprise you most: mind-blowing sex has absolutely nothing to do with looking perfect or performing like a porn star.
"All self-consciousness goes out the door at peak levels of arousal and orgasm," Leah reveals. "Your mindfulness, the depth of your connection, the depth of your presence, the willingness to be vulnerable, the willingness to trust, the willingness to feel the pleasure - that is the biggest gift your body has for you."
The hosts also introduce Byron Katie's revolutionary "Four Questions" method that can end relationship anxiety forever, along with practical tools for transforming jealousy into inspiration.
Your Permission Slip to Stop Comparing
The episode's most powerful message? "The moment you stop comparing and start embracing what's truly pleasurable for you, everything shifts," says Dr. Willow. "Start focusing on what feels good instead of what looks good, and watch your entire experience transform."
Ready to break free from the comparison trap and reclaim your sexual confidence?
- Byron Katie's 4 questions that end relationship anxiety
- The truth about sexual phases in long-term relationships
- Sex magic techniques for manifesting deeper intimacy
- How to use social media without destroying your self-worth
Your authentic, pleasure-filled sex life is waiting. It's time to stop comparing and start celebrating your unique journey to sexual confidence.
Episode Links & Resources
- Book | Existential Kink: Unmask Your Shadow and Embrace Your Power by Carolyn Elliott
- Book | Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life by Byron Katie
- Free Gift | Choose your own SxR Adventure
- YouTube | Watch this episode on YouTube
- App Directory | Find Sex Reimagined on your favorite Apps
- Blog | Full Episode, Show Notes & Resources
