Cervical Orgasms with Mare Simone
Willow: Well, we are going to be having a very juicy conversation today with Mare Simone. I'm so excited for this interview. I'm thrilled because this is something I've been exploring myself.
So Mare is a Tantric Sex Coach and an Advanced Certified Tantra Educator. She's an avid explorer of women's mysteries.
She specializes in assisting women and men in healing and awakening their deepest, delicious pleasures. She offers couples supportive guidance into the realms of healing and awakening, massive orgasms, and love together. Thanks for doing that work in the world, beauty. So stoked. So we're just going to have a deep dive today.
We're going into the deepest levels of orgasms, the portals of pleasure, and I think we will be talking about cervical orgasms. So I'm excited.
Mare: Welcome to the Sex Reimagined Podcast, where sex is shame-free. And pleasure forward. Let's get into the show.
Willow: Welcome, Mare.
Leah: Yeah, welcome, Mare. And I want to give an extra plug to the great Mare Simone. Mare has been a mentor and a personal coach to me for years and years.
I owe so much to Mare for my career, having been facilitated by Mare and helping me establish my gifts. Mare is a legend in the Tantra industry. So thank you so much for saying yes to being a part of this, Marsie.
Mare: Yay. Thank you so much. I'm just so jazzed from this intro and all the warm energy I'm feeling already bubbling up.
Leah: Yay. So, Mare, I'm curious; what would you say your specialty is?
[00:01:44] What Mare has to say is her specialty
Mare: Yeah, I was just tuning into that because it continuously evolves. It's what's most new and alive for me because that's the avenue that I feel is continually calling me deeper and deeper, which is why the talk today is like the deepest part of our inside sacred temple.
And so, for me, I love helping women find themselves and find their most profound orgasms. Because I had a lot of challenges with that myself and had to learn the hard way and sometimes the fun and light way, but it took a lot of years.
[00:02:22] Mare's journey to her work in sexuality and tantra
Leah: Could you say a little bit about your journey because I think a lot of people look at the sex industry, the sexuality, the sacred sex industry, and go, "It must be so easy for all of them." They don't often get the view that most of us came to this industry because we needed it so much. We do the work because we need the job. And so, I'm wondering if you could share a before and after? Who were you when you got the call to move in this direction of enlightenment and healing? And now, who are you now? Does that make sense?
Mare: Who was I when I got the call? I was a stumbling, struggling woman with a yearning and a sense that there was something like a treasure of pleasure inside. And I always felt like this mermaid guarding my treasure because I was wounded.
I had been raped a couple of times when I was not expecting it. And it affected my morale more than anything, I guess. They were both men that I was sort of interested in. And then suddenly they went from soft and tender and wooy, to violent and aggressive. And it just turned this whole pattern inside of me from feeling open, playful, trusting, arousing, and sexy to feeling very, very guarded and very protective.
[00:03:50] How Celibacy Unlocked my Sexuality
Mare: And, long story short, I went from being open and sensual to being kind of like, I was hiding. I just let my mustache grow fuzzy, including my underarm hair and the hair on my legs, and I just became this heavy, disconnected from my body, woman. And I turned into celibacy and shrouded my outer body to find something precious inside.
And in that meditation process, I meditated for hours a day, and sometimes it became erotic. Sometimes, I would feel my sexual energy bubbling up in this solo stillness. And that turned me on in a way that was way beyond any physical friction sex. It was like; I felt trickling energies that stimulated my clitoris. Nope... in a way, my clit, but also, I could feel it inside. It was rising inside, this nuance of energy. It wasn't about stimulating it in any way. It was like nothing I had ever felt before. It was like a connection of my soul. I felt bliss in my body.
Willow: That's so beautiful. Did this happen in celibacy?
Mare: Yeah. I was sitting in meditation. I had this instrument called a Barragan. It's a tool you use to support your arms when doing different meditation positions. And I will admit, it was pressing the stem of it...
Willow: ...right on your clit?
Mare: Right between my legs, and it was pressing my clit.
Willow: That's what we do, Taoist Sexology, get that clit pressurized, love that.
Mare: I just discovered it while doing meditation. I thought, well, this feels like a good spot.
Willow: Yes, it's a pleasure spot.
Leah: Yeah, what happens there?
Willow: I love it.
[00:05:44] Mare opened the book "Tantra, the Yoga of Sex" and devoured it...
Mare: Right. And I realized I'm not supposed to be celibate; there's something precious about sex that I'm here to learn and deliver. And so I left the celibate life.
And I moved into a house of people doing meditation, but we weren't celibate. And so I had a lot more freedom. And somehow somebody had the book "Tantra, the Yoga of Sex," and I picked it up and devoured it. It was like my soul was hungry for this knowledge, and it talked about many things, energy fields, and seeing energy and vitality globules.
But one of the things that struck me, that kind of resonates with me now, is it talked about this thing that happens when you reach a point of intercourse where you're both aroused and internally connected. But, still, there's not a lot of movement, and if you stay in that place for a significant amount of time, something juicy and alive, and this enormous orgasm takes place deep inside. And I wanted to experience that, but I couldn't get a man to be slow and still long enough to share it.
Mare: Except once when I fell asleep with my partner; he was inside. We both fell into a deep, sweet sleep, and I woke up probably 20 minutes later with this enormous fire going on inside my pussy, and it was just raging. I'm like, are you feeling what I'm feeling? I'm asking him. And apparently, he felt it too, and it was so powerful to feel it together. I wasn't prepared for it. It was almost too much.
Willow: Wow.
[00:07:18] Stillness is so Underrated
Leah: Well, ding, ding, ding. Let's just highlight that for the audience. To go slow enough for this thing to build. Stillness is so underrated. It's one of these profoundly, intensely pleasurable states that women, in particular, really need in their awakening process. So do not overlook slowing down.
Willow: Yeah. And trust. Trust that if you do go soft in that slowing down process, it's okay.
Leah: Yes.
Willow: That's part of your journey.
Leah: That's part of it. Nothing bad or wrong is happening if you go soft. In fact, remember there are some orgasms we can only have when you are soft.
Willow: Yeah.
Mare: Wow!
Willow: And it will build up your sexual energy as well. So naturally, you will get hard again, and you will get harder than the time before.
Mare: Right. Because it's an energetic hardness that comes from feeling each other's feelings. Like when he was feeling me, feeling that intensity, it was like really exciting each other. So, yeah, that's powerful.
Leah: And when we eliminate anxiety from our experience, stress takes us out of the present moment. So when we learn, we build that resilience muscle towards worrying about being successful or being orgasmic, or keeping an erection.
Mare: Right.
Leah: When we blow through that illusion, then these more immense experiences in sex happen. And then all the erections that you want are there. And all the significant, monumental, pleasurable experiences start to unfold in your body because you stop worrying about it. After all, you're learning to stay in the present moment.
Mare: Right?
Willow: That's right.
Mare: And feel what's present. And I would even encourage women, if they're exploring their cervix, to address it in that same yin kind of way.
[00:09:05] The Cervix - the Uncharted Territory of Orgasm
Leah: Yeah, let's talk about the cervix. I'm so excited to have you speak on this Mare because it's such uncharted territory.
Mare: Totally. And a lot of research doesn't even recognize it. Or that women have much sensitivity there. And we don't have much sensitivity there because it's been prodded and poked right in the doctor's office and grabbed little snips, which do hurt. We have felt there.
So, those are the memories that we have in that area. And another way that we sometimes feel numbed out is if a man masturbates on you. In other words, if he's pounding hard with his rhythm without tuning into the woman, it can be very intense, sometimes painful, and sometimes that instinct of contracting and pulling inward is to protect from being pounded on. So, year, after year, after year. That was the only kind of sex I knew for many years, and I wondered why I wasn't orgasmic with intercourse.
Leah: Yeah, when we blame ourselves like there's something wrong with us when we're just retreating within. And so we endure.
Willow: Yeah, so we don't have to have cervical pounding and pain. I mean, there are many reasons why sex is painful for women. This is a huge one of them. Suppose the cervix is not warmed up enough. We talked about the round ligaments, the actual swaths of muscle that lift up the whole uterus so that the cervix lifts up. So there is room for the penis, which requires turn-on, which takes time.
Mare: Right. It's also moveable and interactive in the way that the vagina itself elongates when we're excited. But when the orgasm happens, especially when a man ejaculates, sometimes the cervix drops down to drink up that sperm, which is a fascinating thing.
Leah: That's really cool. It's like a hummingbird.
Mare: Drinking the nectar. And the cervix is like that. I only discovered and touched mine for the first time with my finger, not with the toy, but just with my finger when I was feeling around and looking for it. And it was almost like a little kitty cat. It felt like a very conscious part of me came down and went to lick my finger.
Willow: That's so sweet.
Leah: Wow. That is really a sweet image.
Mare: It was so beautiful.
Willow: It's like, I'll come to you now that you're there. I'll say hi, yeah. I'll make my own moves.
Leah: I love that.
Willow: It's very true. I do a lot of pelvic floor work with women, and I always really feel like I'm working with the tissues of an infant because I've done a lot of cranial work with babies too. And there's something so sweet about the tissue of the cervix and inside and the vulva. It's very malleable and soft and gentle, like a kitten, like a baby, it's very sweet.
Mare: And very responsive and sensitive. I mean, the clitoris is used to it because it's on the outside. And it's more analogous to a male phallus kind of structure, even though we have more nerves there, twice as many. But it's still an outer organ with a different quality to it. Sometimes it likes intensity, and other times, it's really delicate and so I don't want to categorize it in just one way.
But what I've found about the cervix that's very different is that the more relaxed I am, the more I feel. And the less goals there are, the better it is, which is why I've been so enjoying discovering it on my own.
But I want to share my first cervical orgasm because, at the time, I didn't know what it was, but I was sharing with a partner; I don't easily have orgasms during intercourse, and I really want to, and I really want to work on this. And he was totally willing to help me. And so we played, and we did many things.
What I remember most was as he entered me, it was really still and very present, and he looked into eyes, and he said, Relax. Okay. I didn't quite know how to relax because I'm used to being all ambitious and excited and active and so I told myself, I think I know what that means. Relax. And he said, Now, relax even more.
And he entered in about an inch, starting to get really excited, and I started to move, and he said, " No, just relax and receive me. And he slowly, slowly, slowly entered, and I felt every part of my vagina, every inch of me. And when he hit my cervix, not hit, when he met my cervix, it was like we melted.
Leah: Wow.
Mare: And I felt right. And I felt these light-force-like feelings tingle through my body, like waves of sensation moving throughout me. And he was hardly moving. He was just going like this, and like this, and kind of side to side, but really slow. And I just kept feeling myself opening and expanding more and more. I felt like I was really starving for this experience and knew that this was what I was yearning for.
Leah: Wow.
Mare: And it lasted for a long time. I wanted it never to end, just ever, ever. We took a break, and it was like, can we do some more?
Willow: Go back there. Let's go back there. Nothing else matters.
Mare: I want that place.
Willow: It's a sweet place.
[00:14:31] The Different Types of Orgasms Women Can Experience
Leah: If you think about the average woman who's watching this who maybe hasn't had these subtle experiences yet, but they have had an orgasm before. And perhaps they have a hunch that's more clitoral; maybe they're not sure if they've had a vaginal or, it's like all these different types of orgasms, and they haven't quite figured out what they all are. What they are to her.
Mare: Right, the G-Spot?
Leah: Them, if they don't identify with the gender as women, but they have assigned female genitals. What is the difference between what most women have experienced and this experience? Can you articulate that?
Mare: Hmm. I've been researching what other people say to get words for it. Because for me, it's sort of, not nebulous, but like a trance. Like I enter into a place that's some kind of timeless, and I find myself. So if I'm using The Crystal Wand, I'm moving slowly, just finding wherever the sensations are and then melting there—and letting my body meet the Crystal Wand rather than doing any pumping, thrusting, or anything. And I'm also using a mudra on my fingers to activate the connection of my clitoris to my Yoni.
Leah: So what's a mudra for those who don't know?
[00:15:54] What is a Mudra?
Mare: So, for me, it's just the position of the hands that generate energy. And one I like to use is sometimes I'll capture my clitoris, like right there between my fingers.
Willow: Okay. Just give me a little hug.
Mare: Or, so that it's pronounced, and my fingers are just holding the clit. I mean, the whole vulva region. And the clit is just, yeah, the shaft is right there. And so sometimes that doesn't even require much movement. So when the touch occurs, and the energy starts to flow, it's probably like acupuncture. When the energy flows, this current awakens inside the body, and then I feel healing starts to happen.
So the desire to move actively and thrust is replaced by this curiosity of what would happen if I didn't do a lot of movement? What if I just melted, softened, and opened to this place? And it draws me in like this conversation between my soul and my body. And my memories, some old memories, sometimes will come up, but with such clarity, I can just have compassion for myself. And sometimes emotions come up, and anger can come up, but it comes up in just a gentle manner; I accept myself. I feel that. I know that. I love myself. And then, as I do that, it's like I enter into this deeper chamber of myself, and awareness of arousal and pleasure comes forth from that. So again, it's like it's blessing me. It's just moving through me with these sensations that feel like a bath, like a warm, gentle, soft kind of yielding bath. And sometimes, the pleasure is extreme. Sometimes it'll suddenly build, but other times it's very subtle. So rather than looking for the intensity, the way to access it is through looking for the subtlety. And allowing the subtlety to build, permitting yourself to expand it with your consciousness and mind rather than with friction and movement.
Willow: Okay, it's like a yingasm, it sounds like.
Mare: It's very yin. In fact, yintimate.
Leah: Love that; I'm writing some of this great stuff down.
Mare: It's a yintimate state.
Leah: We'll borrow that from you, Mare, and other choice words. But we'll give you credit.
Mare: Okay, yeah, I might write a book on that title.
Willow: Yes, you should. Yes. Oh, I love that. And when you're with a partner, I mean, it's so healing the way you describe it, doing it yourself. Every vulva owner has access to that level of healing and connecting the soul to sexuality, the soul to physicality, and the body. But when you're with a partner, there's this other level because there's this yang energy coming in, still coming in, in this yin way, and this yin fashion. But there's a different polarity for the oneness to transpire through, I guess.
Mare: Well, I would say if the man comes in with yang energy and he's not present to the yin then the whole experience can be very yang and miss a lot of that, which is I think, why a lot of women, again, don't have orgasms with intercourse. Like I didn't.
I was both experiencing pain and numbness when he'd do his thing. And I just felt like I had to endure it. Like we were saying earlier, right? When a man can meet a woman... I remember one time I was on top with a partner, and he was being more passive, maybe because we had just had a fight, and it was makeup sex, and it wasn't like this passionate makeup sex. It was like he was still a little wounded, and I was trying to love him up, you know? And so I was on top and sitting over him, and I started just doing these subtle little kinds of spirals and figure eights. And I started feeling an enormous sensation, and I was like, Are you feeling that too? And when he said that he could handle it, it intensified for me. I could feel it even more.
And we danced like that for the longest time. And the anger of the fight that we had just dissipated into this enchantment of feeling a sensation of, it wasn't again, that pounding, but it was just like, I almost describe it like this bubbling, like...
Willow: effervescent...
Effervescence. And sometimes, the bubbles can rise, and we can bring them into our brains. The nerves that address the cervix, the vagus nerve, go directly from the cervix through all of our Chakras. The belly, through the heart, into our throat, and very much when we open our throat. So this is another magical piece that I've learned: I like to actually tone when I'm feeling this way, which is more like long, deep exhalations of sound.
And then the energy starts to grow and build because my throat, especially when there's cervical stimulation occurring simultaneously, starts to resonate at the same frequency. And then I see psychedelics. And I see lights, and colors, and geometry, and this pattern that opens inside me that I travel into. It's like this whole toroidal field in our body that rises up through our spine and up to the top of our head and beyond. That's happened a few times. It's rare; it's precious. I want to access that more because it's like, Wow, it's so desirable.
Leah: It sounds mystical and Cosmic.
Mare: Well, I'm pretty sure that because that vagus nerve is connecting our brain and our crown with our genitals, particularly the cervix, that's what's helping to increase that cervical connection. Like I took a course in Cervix Awakening, and one of the things that Olivia Bryant recommended, you may have heard of her; she wrote and is doing this project called Self Cervix. And it's really for women to serve and explore their own cervix.
Willow: Beautiful.
Mare: And one of the things that she talked about was feeling and focusing, and visualizing the energy rising up your spine and going into your crown and seeing this whole pattern as it is occurring, even if we don't physically see it, imagining it because it is occurring. When we visualize it, that energy can, especially when we're using our throat, it's bringing it all the way up into our throat.
And then, the skull and all the bones in our head are vibrating. So the sound will activate and pull the energy up through our bodies. It's helpful for men not to ejaculate when they use sound. But for women, when we use sound, especially when we intend it to rise up through the field, it opens up this entire circuitry of light and energy. And that's where the magic really, really starts to happen. Where visuals can happen, or a lot of times for me, I get a lot of downloads and a lot of information at that time. Things that I'm here to give and my gifts and teachings that I wanna share. You know, it's very, very exciting to have an occupation that's all about exploring pleasure.
Willow: Yeah. It opens up your creativity channel. So actually...
Mare: Definitely. It makes work a lot of fun.
Willow: Oh, for sure. So I have a question; in the Taoist tradition, they call what you're talking about superior orgasm. So you can have orgasms in the pineal gland and get that psychedelic flushing. Like you can have an orgasm in your thyroid gland, especially if there's a disorder there or in your thymus or different glands, different organs.
Mare: Your heart.
Willow: Your heart, exactly. You can have an orgasm in your womb. And according to the Tao, they say the wombgasm is the highest of the superior orgasms for a woman. So I'm just curious if there is a distinction between a cervical orgasm, is there a distinction between that, and the wombgasm?
[00:24:00] Cervical Orgasm vs. Wombgasm
Mare: Wow. Let's think about that. I've not heard the term wombgasm, but I can certainly imagine it. And see how, because the cervix and the womb are attached, they're connected, it's natural..
Willow: It's the doorway...
Mare: Yeah, wow. I love the Tao.
Leah: I'm gonna complicate this a little bit by also adding, what about women who don't have a cervix? Or maybe they don't have a uterus anymore, but they still have their cervix.
Willow: So in the Tao, they say even if you've had an organ removed, the energy of it is still there. So you can still have an orgasm to your pancreas if you've had it removed or your womb if it's been removed.
Leah: So, just so our audience knows, it's irrelevant whether or not you still have the physical organs; you still have the energy of the organs.
Willow: Right.
Leah: Therefore you can still have cervical orgasms and possibly the wombgasm.
Mare: I've read about that. In fact, that was part of the research. I wanted to explore that with women who are in this, and who've had hysterectomies. And some are unwilling to explore it because they say it doesn't exist. So I will tell them what Dr. Willow said it does.
Willow: The energy of it's still there.
Leah: Right, just go to MareSimone.com and be a part of the research.
Willow: Absolutely. I mean it's the same thing as a phantom limb. You know?
Mare: Exactly.
Willow: You have a limb removed and the energy, you still feel like it's there.
[00:25:25] Higher Dimension Sexual Awakening
Mare: So I was gonna say that some people feel itching in that area, the energy is still there. So yeah, it's all about your mind and how we open up. And this is the other really, really cool thing that I'm feeling right now. So important when the world is feeling so chaotic and so many uncertainties kind of coming down on us all at once. To know that we don't only exist in this third dimension that we can tap into higher dimensions of our being that exist at the same time and place, but on a higher frequency.
And to me, cervical orgasms and sex and pleasure and orgasms in general help take us to these heightened states of awareness that help alleviate tension, and stress, and all the worries and the anxiety so that we can come back into our world more fulfilled and less addicted.
And listening to the news all the time, and watching all the things that are going on, and getting more and more caught up in that whirlwind. We have a place that we can go to that's like a sanctuary.
And I think one thing I wanna say and make sure that this comes across, is I know people who think they've had a lot of great sex.
And this goes back to your question earlier, people who have had good sex, but maybe they're bored after 50 years of being married or whatever time frame that is. When they experience this deeper sensation, it's like they also access their higher dimensions. Like when I'm with a partner who is astounded, and I get that they're feeling what I'm feeling, and they're like, Wow, what is this? I feel like you've hypnotized me. You've put me in a trance. And I wanna say that it's by slowing down that you can access that trance, that we can feel that place together and create a new world inside of our own bubble, our life love bubble together. And then have that emanate out into the world and be the field that you move, and dance, and work, and speak through. Which creates... like, the stronger this bubble becomes, this love field that we emanate, the less we're affected, and I think the stronger immune systems become and...
Willow: Absolutely, right.
Leah: The less fear we live in and the more harmony we have between each other and more compassion, and forgiveness, and patience. That's all of our, like, saintly qualities become... We end up having greater access to grace. We've got greater access to love. We've got greater access to forgiveness. We've got greater access to being in harmony with nature and each other. And I think our priorities start to realign to what's actually important.
And it's really this experience of love. I mean, we come with all this other stuff to encounter, like fear, and shame, and guilt and that stuff. But what we're meant to do here is to re-remember that what we really are is love. And I think for a lot of people we're disconnected, to a large degree, between our heart and our sex.
[00:28:35] Being in the Feminine
Leah: And as you've been talking and describing your experience, Mare, what I am struck with, is your body language.
Willow: The way you're moving.
Leah: I would love for our audience to start the interview from the beginning and really watch because Mare's not just teaching us with her words. She's got a beautiful use of language, but she's also teaching us with her body. And if you look at her body language, she's doing a lot of these hand movements. You can tell that when she's talking about this uterine orgasm or the cervical orgasm, her heart's connected to her body. Her heart's totally integrated into her Yoni, to her pussy, to her vagina, to her vulva. It's an integrated vehicle.
And so what I'm noticing is, it makes sense that you're feeling the subtle tingles, effervescence, a subtlety, this yintimate experience throughout your whole body. Like, I feel softer just being in your presence.
There's this thing called mirror neurons. So, as I'm watching Mare, I'm like, okay, body, learn what she knows.
Willow: Open it up.
Leah: Some of it we can't do with our minds.
Mare: I love that.
Leah: It's actually a body-to-body teaching.
Mare: Right.
Leah: And so, yeah, I'm feeling present to that, just wanted to name it.
Willow: I love that you said that, Leah. Cause I've been noticing that too, the whole time. And then one more thing... I'm starting to get me rolling, and juicy.
Leah: See, this is what it's like to be in the feminine, that's right.
Mare: So beautiful that you share that. I'm actually sitting on something that stimulates my clit.
[00:30:18] Jing Energy in Taoist Practices
Willow: Now, that's the best way to do an interview. I love it. One more thing I wanna add to that is the Jing Chi, the sexual energy. Jing energy in the Tao, we call it comes out of the eyes. And you can see that in Mare's eyes. You can really see that in the openness, and the shine, and the shimmer in her eyes. And when you're moving around the world, you know, you can look for that in people. Like, is Jing Chi awakened? Are they clear? Are they open? Are they looking you in the eyes? Is this third eye and your physical eyes actually expanded and open to a higher consciousness state? Which is what you keep bringing us home to. This is a physical thing, but the physicality of it really brings you to this higher level of consciousness.
Mare: Yes, yes.
Willow: You could not otherwise access it.
Mare: Yes.
Mare: And I wanna also add to that, that as women mature like I'm 67, and I'm past menopause. And yet, even though people say that after menopause, your sexual energy diminishes your hormones, all this. I would say that for me, it's taken on a different quality because as I get closer to maybe my great escape from this world. I feel I get closer and closer to the soul and that my orgasms and my desire for pleasure isn't just about the same kind of physical urgency that I used to have when I was sexually horny in my teens and twenties and all. But it's now something much more, like a self love and magical process.
And I was gonna share something that I invite you all to do, because this is something that I've been exploring and experiencing as part of my self pleasuring, and arousing myself, and preparing for self pleasure is to do a lot of body stretching, and feeling my presence in every part of my body, especially my spine.
Mare: And my spine is an area that I've been feeling some challenge in, so I wanna put some love there. So as I'm doing these stretches, it's almost; it feels as if I'm making love to myself. I'm making love to my spine, I'm just rubbing it into the base that I'm lying on, and I'm just feeling the places where pain and pleasure meet. Right? And letting pain turn into pleasure. Just allowing that melting to occur, Because that's the same feeling that occurs on the inside, when you're massaging the cervix.
So when I can start by just doing that with my whole body, this doesn't require even hands. It's just like moving and stretching and feeling; oh, there's a tight place and...
Willow: ...breathing into it.
Mare: Moving into it...
Willow: ...sounding into it.
Mare: And then the energy starts to move up through the spine, and the spine starts to tingle and become more and more turned on. And then the arousal of self pleasure and direct genital stimulation is ripe and ready in a whole different way.
Willow: So beautiful.
[00:33:21] Work From the Outside In
Leah: So, I think that points to, for a lot of women, direct contact is not always the way to go; try indirect contact. It's like you work from the outside in. So it's the sort of like being able to roll your shoulders and stretch out and move and arch.
Mare: Feel your tightness and transform it into energy and get that energy moving.
Leah: Yeah. Then you're able to access more pleasure potential in those primary erogenous zones.
Mare: Right.
Leah: If you can come in more slowly. Feel the whole body before you go straight to the honey bits, you know?
And when you start your day out like this, in this sort of amoebic, stretching, rolling, just let your consciousness rest between your mouth and your anus. Like, just become that, like a one-celled organism. And just start your day out like that; the rest of your day is gonna be so much more pleasurable. You're gonna have so much more presence...
Leah: more gentle...
Willow: ... for everything you're doing, more gentle.
Mare: ...so much more presence, and sensitivity, to your surroundings, and what other people are feeling and how to be interactive.
Willow: It's a great way to set yourself up for success. And it only takes two to three minutes. You could do longer.
[00:34:32] Getting really Intimate with Yourself
Leah: I have a more technical question.
Willow: All right.
Leah: Okay. So first, can you just describe, because I think there are a lot of yoni-owning bodies that haven't totally explored the inside of their vagina... feel a little queasy at the idea... I don't really know where everything is and what it is, and it's a little confusing.
Can you describe where the cervix is? What shape is it? Like, what I heard you say is that you kind of go in, and you find a spot, and then you let yourself melt around it.
Are there any other particular massage techniques? Are you touching behind it, in front of it? Could you give a little more direction?
Mare: So because it's sometimes numb, initially, I would encourage that before a person even begins to look for it with their fingers or a toy, is to start by feeling it with your mind by contracting your vaginal muscles. Starting at the very opening, coming up to the middle, and then all the way up at the top where the cervix is.
And then, when you feel that top, tighten a little bit more and feel just above the top of the cervix, which then brings your attention to not just a physical place but the energy. Because when you do that, it starts to quiver. It starts to recognize that it's being called forth, and in a way that's subtle, rather than jabbing and poking and looking for it, it's like you're calling it energetically.
And the more you tune into its energy, the more it wants to be touched.
Leah: It responds to that.
Mare: Right. It's so sensitive and subtle that if you're just looking for a physical thing, an object, what you might notice is that it feels a little hard. It feels a little bit like the nose. If you look at it through a speculum or the images that I've seen, it looks a lot like a donut with a hole in the middle, depending on whether a woman has given birth or not, maybe very small or larger.
Some people talk about right at the very opening of the Os being an incredible, sensual place. My uterus is tipped, and I've had three surgeries on my cervix. So I don't know how much of a cervix I have left. I'm pretty sure the nerves are still there. And for me, sometimes more than just the physical spot, I feel like it's more like an opening, like what I'm looking for... so this again, if you've had a hysterectomy or whatever, the opening still exists. Because it's an opening to the canal, the spinal canal, and the whole circuitry that leads up to the crown.
So when I think of it that way, and when I'm being penetrated by a partner, the more pleasure I can feel is by allowing that opening to just expand and open, and expand and open.
When I'm exploring it on myself, when I'm being more subtle and tuned in, I look for whatever is present there. And sometimes it's numb, and I could wait for 30 minutes. Just being still with it. I'm in no hurry, and then I start to feel something. Or if I move around, I might feel a little tenderness, or a little tightness, or pain. And I might just stop right there until that pain softens, and then it starts to feel like pleasure, and it's like, Oh, I didn't know I could feel pleasure there. I always feel pain. But if you wait a couple of minutes, it will transform. Yes. Yes.
Thanks for sharing that Mare, about having had some surgeries. I imagine you're talking about LEAP procedures or cryotherapy.
Mare: I had pre-cancer
Willow: cryotherapy.
Mare: I had cryotherapy.
Then they did some other laser treatment, and then they went in with a cold knife; I remember reading that in the description. It didn't sound pleasant, but I insisted that they not remove it. They wanted to give me his hysterectomy. So I also had some fibroid tumors, and they said, Well, just get rid of it.
Willow: Right, that's their way, that's their training. God bless.
Mare: That's how they make money. But I just said, no, no, no. And I remember even saying because I guess I'd read it somewhere, that I don't wanna lose my womb because I've heard that you can have wombgasms or cervical orgasms or something. I remember the doctor just said to me, You're crazy, that's not where orgasms come from.
Willow: Of course. Of course.
Mare: But that was a guy.
Willow: Of course who doesn't know anything?
Leah: Who's done no research?
Willow: Yeah, exactly.
Mare: He hasn't done the research.
Willow: Right. But you're such a testament. Like your story is such a testament to the healing and how you go into those places where you feel there's some pain. Let me breathe into it, soften around it, and then that pain turns into pleasure. I mean, from my mind and medical being up in women's Va-J-J's a alot, you know, what I know is happening is scar tissue is melting. And there's this healing that's happening for the cells of your cervix.
All of that reverberates all the way up into your womb. And with that vagal reverberate...
Mare: That makes sense.
Willow: ...with that vagal nerve action it's going through every chakra, every gland.
[00:39:55] Sound Frequency in your Body
Leah: I love that you used that word, reverberates, because sound has pitch and frequency, and it's used in all sorts of medical equipment for healing purposes.
And so the throat chakra and much of the vagus nerve comes into the heart. So for those of you who've ever had a crygasm, that's the vagus nerve. It's a very emotional type of activation. And the vagus nerve comes into the throat here to go up to the brain. So, when you think of your throat making sound, it's like a magnet for all the lower parts of your body, all the other chakra systems.
So when you make the sound, when you make reverberations, la, la, la, oo, oo. Any vowel will do harder, soft, whatever. And you start to think about pitch and frequency, like how can I connect what I'm feeling, the sensation, to a pitch and a frequency? That's how you carry the sensation throughout your body. That's what improves the neuro pathways between the brain and the genitals. Strengthening your ability to have full body pleasure, multiple orgasmic pleasure. You are enlivening your brain and you're literally making yourself younger. And so, hallelujah, that you advocated for yourself medically and saw the value in these body parts.
And even if you had made the choice because for some people, the right choice is to remove some parts of their body. Their body can not assimilate due to the dis-easiness that is accumulated. And to know that all the energetics are right there and that they profoundly respond to this reverberation. I love that you used that word. I keep on sensing this like a sound bowl, or like chimes, or like a ding.
Willow: There it goes after your whole body.
And that there is like, this mystical place you were describing, this place with all these geometrical thought forms. Why would we want to move into that kind of sexual experience versus what we've always known, which is friction-based kind of animal primal? Well, that's fun. That's yummy. But there's a transcendence. What we wanna invite people to, and what you've done so well during this interview, Mare, is you've helped us reimagine, which is what this whole thing's about, is reimagining what is possible in our sexual world! It's so much more vast than your parents knew that our culture knows. So here we go.
[00:42:37] Energy can Heal Wounds
Mare: Well, I love that Charles; Charles Muir would say every chakra is an erogenous zone.
Leah: Front and back.
Mare: You remember that well! And that resonated so well with me. And so when you asked why one would want to expand and feel more than just the physical friction, pleasure? Is that if you can imagine taking an orgasm and bringing it up your belly and having it at the same time, sort of sparkle and glow, and send healing energy into your belly. In any part of your belly, your digestive system, or anything that needs healing, and then bring it up into your heart. And without even attending to it, it just naturally will clear and remove patterns, and wounds in the heart.
And because it just makes you ecstatic and so joyful. Right? And as you bring it up into your throat, it stimulates your creativity, your expression, your ability to be more, to live more in your body. Because as it expands, it also gets stronger, right? It just gets more multifaceted. Multidimensional.
I was going to say something. I'm feeling like my third eye, and my crown, and my psychic abilities are revolving and developing, which I really, really, really want at this time of existence on this planet. I want access to other dimensions easily. And to know that there's a zone where there's just this peaceful quality of existence, that's like a sanctuary. We can go there.
And again, it's not about friction, friction, friction. You get off, get off, get off. How many orgasms, and how many ejaculations, or any of that? It's about how deeply you can feel and melt into this serene state.
Leah: I love it.
Mare: Bring that back.
Leah: I love it. It feels like a healthy ego. As compared to statisizing, measuring, or needing to be impressive. It's a totally different space, right?
Willow: It's an authentic place. It's like you're really listening to what your desires and what your bodies want. And I love so much what you're exemplifying for us, especially for women who are in their power years, past menopause. You know It's a reclamation; it's a new union that you get to form with your sexuality.
You get to create this new relationship with your own body as it is now. And that's so empowering and makes a huge difference on how you move through every other sector in your life.
[00:45:07] We Need More Women in their Power
Leah: And we need more role models. We need more women in their power, at this stage in their life, willing to be visible, speak up, and do this piece of work so that we know how to do it.
Because many of us are left grasping, confused, and uncertain, and then we just allow ourselves to become invisible in the culture. We feel left behind. Unwanted, unloved, abandoned, and all these cultural wounds arise in the feminine. And I see it, and I don't have the answers yet.
So preach.
Mare: We're healing, we're all healing, reclaiming our power. And the more we really live in this vitality space of being turned on, as women, as men & that we just create this field that is awake, in front of us and behind us. Just this field of light that is felt by the world.
[00:46:07] The Resistance
Mare: We need to tap into this pure place, this place that's creation, and just be filled up by it.
I imagine that there's resistance, right? If I tune into the resistance that I could feel around all of this, it's, Oh, I'm so busy. Like, how much time do I have to devote to this? And then, how do I prioritize that time? Can you say anything about that as a roadblock?
Mare: I try different times of the day. Okay. Sometimes first thing in the morning is the best because the world hasn't come upon my shoulders yet, and I'm still in this soft yin place of coming out of sleep.
Sometimes in the middle of the day, it's really good when you've been working really hard to reward yourself, right? Give a little pleasure and use that as fuel to do the next task or the next project.
Sometimes I just decide, okay, it's late enough. It's time for me to shut down my computer and take care of myself. Which I haven't always done. Sometimes I sit in front of my computer until I'm exhausted, and then I notice that I have not been productive.
But I do wanna say that when we tap into those zones, where we give ourselves a little love vacation, a little turn-on orgasmic vacation, we come back feeling more charged, more lit up, more like...
Leah: ...more juicy.
Mare: Right. That smile is just oozing out of us.
Leah: What did you call it?
Willow: Jing Chi. Jing chi. J I N G. It's like Shakti, Shakti, Jing Chi, sexual energy, all the same.
Leah: I always called that sparkle plenty.
Willow: Sparkle plenty?
Leah: Where the sparkle in your eyes really meets the sparkle in your smile. You know, when those two are connected, you really feel someone's right there with you.
Willow: Yea, that's Jing Chi, baby. It's really stored up in the adrenal gland. So it's like everything you've been talking about, Mare, is really a boost; it's a buildup. It's moving from adrenal fatigue and adrenal stress to adrenal fullness and adrenal health.
Mare: Nice. Yes.
Willow: And that's why I was shocked; you said, I think, 62? I was shocked! I was...
Mare: ...seven, 67.
Willow: I mean, I was shocked. I'm so shocked. You know that is a beautiful example of having healthy adrenals and having healthy Jing Chi. And knowing how to drop into the trance state, the yin field, and really, really stay authentic and true.
It's not about how many multiple orgasms or squirting or any of that, right? It's about this nourishment that you can give to yourself through sexual energy. It's so powerful.
Mare: Right. And then to share it with a partner, because they don't know until we can show them. Because their whole drive is all about producing, making sperm, making babies, and that's their innate instinct, as well as maybe the way that they masturbate.
[00:49:05] Don't be Afraid of Size
Mare: So unless they’re turned into a yin partner. It's very hard for them to discover this on their own. I commend the men who have taught me, who've shown me.
Leah: Totally. Thank you, my brothers.
Mare: Thank you. And I wanna say one more thing about size because we're talking about this deep, deep place inside of a vagina. That could be, if a man or a woman looks at a man and thinks he's not going to make it, he's not big enough.
There's something actually magical that happens when genitals resonate at the same frequency. And I know this because I was with a partner with a very small, maybe the size of a finger, Lingham. I was thinking, that's not gonna do much for me.
But we had such a resonant connection that when he penetrated me, it was again, he went in really slow. This is something men should take note of. Take your time, don't go crashing in. Women don't like to be rammed. We like that feeling of melting, merging, melting, and opening. And as soon as he melted into me, it was like my uterus, my cervix came right down and gave him that little cervix kiss.
And it was one of those beautiful, beautiful, beautiful things. And we were both raving about how phenomenal it was. Cause I think him as a man with a smaller penis, he wasn't expecting it to be that phenomenal for either of us. He wanted to marry me.
Leah: Thank you so much for describing it that way. Because I’ve had that experience many times.
I'm a big fan of small lingams, and I like 'em big too. But I'm one of the small lingam girls. And that's the connection, I didn't have the language for it before.
And I also believe that energetically doesn't matter the size you are; if you can bring awareness to how much energy you can stream out that lingam that cock, that penis, you can make it as big as you want. You can fill us up; you can fill us up so much.
Mare: With your mind, with your energy.
Willow: With your presence. Right.
Leah: So this is why understanding and studying some of the energetic qualities, you know, it's not all woo. You start to feel kind of yummy and juicy and woo wooy. Once you start seeing it and feeling it, you can't help it.
Because it has this juiciness to it, and so, when you start to really tap into that, you'll get it. You'll get it. And you'll be so ahead.
Mare: Right. Right.
Leah: You'll be so beyond the limitations that the rest of us put ourselves in. Because we don't know, you don't know until you know, so go find out.
Willow: Right, explore.
Leah: And that might be a lovely place for us to end this interview, is to say, Hey, cervical kisses, they're a real thing, you know!
Willow: Go play. Go explore.
Yeah, go beyond these limiting thoughts when it comes to size and when it comes to what you're capable of.
Mare: Right.
Leah: As we age, pleasure is multidimensional, and we're all just scratching the surface, is what I am coming to see.
Mare: I have one closing statement I'd like to make around that, is that we've been talking about this wonderful, beautiful thing or experience, and sometimes it can interfere. The thoughts about what it should be can interfere with the subtlety and nuances of releasing emotions and anxieties. Like I was sharing before, the stuff that's like trapping us from feeling.
So if you're not feeling, look for the subtlety, not more friction, and drop deeper down into your body. Just imagine, just feeling. Like, you're relaxing all the way down to the cervix, and all the way down to the gates, and the opening of your yoni. And more relaxation will create more sensation.
Willow: That's so true. You can feel more when you're in a parasympathetic state. It's just true.
Mare: Parasympathetic state.
Leah: Lots of ding, ding, dings this hour!
Willow: We're dinging away over here.
Mare: This is so fun. Yummy women. Wow.
[00:53:30] Mare's Beautiful Free Offering
Mare: Mare, you have a really beautiful gift that you're offering our audience. Do you want to tell us about that?
Well, I have a few things that I'm doing. One is I have right now the Pillars to Pleasure, which is a checklist that women can use to help them remember how to tap into pleasure. And the things that we sometimes forget. So it's a little me whispering in your ear that can remind you to do the things that we talked about today.
And I'm also putting together a class, and it's going to be a pilot class. I want to teach women what I'm learning. And I want to explore it and expand it in my own unique style. I honor what I learned from Olivia, and yet I know that there are other aspects and facets that are me. So I'm putting together this course, and if you join my list, you'll actually get all the information so that you can join the class. If that is of interest to you?
Willow: Perfect. And is that the " How to Find and Care for Your O-Zone". Okay, good. I love it.
To me, it's actually "The Om Zone". I kind of play in a back-and-forth zone.
Leah: I love that.
Mare: For the fact that I do a lot when I'm in that place. So the Om is like a way of opening that frequency, but it also stands for orgasmic magic.
Willow: Yes. Orgasmic magic.
Leah: You'll see Leah, I there for sure.
Mare: Great.
Leah: Great. All right. Thank you so much.
Willow: Thank you so much.
Leah: Love you.
Leah: Don't forget to visit maresimone.com
Willow: oh yeah.
Leah: Love, love, love, love, love.
Mare: Yeah. Love to see you. Blessings. Bye-Bye.
[00:55:21] The Dish
Mare: Now, our favorite. The dish.
Willow: Oh, wasn't Mare so much fun? Did you guys love her interview as much as we did? Just love that woman.
Leah: Marsy. Oh, she's been such a beloved friend for so many years. I might've said this in the interview, I can't remember, but Mare really helped me in my business when I was brand new.
I mean, she taught me all about Dakini tours and it was such a huge part of my career for so long. I just, she's just the sweetest. She's got this femininity that's like, sooooo...
Willow: so tasty, and subtle.
Leah: Yes!
Willow: Sweet.
Leah: And doesn't she have a radio voice? Like she's so husky. Sexy.
Willow: I mean, I don't think any of our other interviewees wore a vibrator during their session. Now that speaks volumes right there.
Leah: Now, that's a Goddess! I loved her yintimacy.
Willow: Aww. So good.
Leah: So sweet. I just loved it. And I'm so happy that the conversation we had with her so highlighted stillness.
Willow: Yes.
Leah: And hyper slow because many people don't know about the power of it. And there are places you can travel to in stillness that are astounding in pleasure potential.
Willow: Absolutely. And the more and more when we interviewed her around cervical orgasms. That's a lot of what we talked about, I was just getting on the path of having them. And since then, I've had a whole world of experiences, and it's that stillness, and that slowness that is so crucial. And that can be really hard for men if they haven't learned to cultivate a desire to cultivate the sensation of pleasure and hold, for a long time. There can be things like, "I've gotta move or I'm going to lose my hard-on."
Leah: That's it.
Willow: And so that piece is really important, and Leah and I are going to be doing a thing on that very soon in class. I think for women, there's a way that we can help men stay with their desire, their pleasure, and their erection by taking them with us into that slower realm.
I'm really kind of curious, there are two things I think are happening that make it challenging for men. Or it creates anxiety for men in that slowness, and you mentioned one, feeling like they need friction in order to stay aroused and erect.
Leah: And I think the other is worrying that if they really get still, that they might get really excited and ejaculate too early. Because there is that heightened, like not being able to withstand the sensation that can really build, and so I can see how anxiety would play a part, and they have to go into overdrive.
Willow: There's definitely edging in the stillness, too, right? Learning to expand your capacity for pleasure, whether it's in a slower stillness kind of state, or a faster kind of state. What's the word?
Leah: Well, it's like, at a high level of arousal, increasing your capacity is so important to train your nervous system to be able to hold and sustain that peak yumminess, and also manage anxiety.
At the end of the day, it's really an anxious feeling, and so connected to humiliation. That it's tricky, and then it's hard even to find language to explain and explore your feelings. Because not everyone is connected to languaging or to like vocally processing
Willow: Right. Right.
Leah: Unlike myself, who over vocalizes. And so it's like, how do you come up with a strategy to know how to calm that down so that your capacity can expand? And your mind doesn't fuck you over.
Willow: Right.
Leah: Or the sensations of anxiety don't take you out of the experience. And right now, I have one suggestion that man can play with, and that is breathing slow, long, full, long belly breaths.
Because when you do diaphragmatic breathing, you will calm your adrenals and the adrenaline that is provoking the anxiety. And then there's just some self-talk to do like nothing bad's going to happen.
Willow: Yeah, it's okay.
Leah: You're still so loveable. It's alright if you lose your erection. You're not ruining anything. It doesn't mean you're less of a man, you know.
Willow: This is all just all in the name of getting closer to... It's all practice. There's no end goal. If you take the rush to get somewhere off the table, then you have a lot more space inside of your being, inside of your body, your mind and your soul to actually be with new levels of what you are able to hold. What you're able to hold as a vessel for pleasure.
I mean, human beings have huge, vast potential inside of these vessels. And most of us are not even living up to a quarter of it.
Leah: We can really make a bridge between this and women learning how to be near their cervix. Because there's a knee jerk reaction when most of your experience has been kind of traumatic.
Either because you've given birth, or abortions, or being rammed into, and having that cervix kind of take a beating. And not knowing what to do or how to change it, so we just endure it. Not knowing even what's being hit inside, because so many of us are unfamiliar with and what's inside it's a whole new way of increasing our capacity. And allowing ourselves to be deeply felt in stillness. And being willing to encounter the deep emotions that can arise in that stillness. The precious vulnerability, but also the tenderness and the fear of really being seen. or even just like the fear of sensation, it's super tender.
Willow: It's so tender. It's like it connects all the way up into your heart. In fact, I was just doing a meditation, just returned from a little trip to Glastonbury where the chalice well is and the sword of truth & the Excalibur and this whole, like, fantasy world that I love to dive into.
And I was just doing a meditation in the woods and I totally saw the cervix as the chalice, like that's the head of the cup.
Leah: Of course.
Willow: You know, and the sword is coming into it and it's just Oh, it's the sweetest, most beautiful connection that male and female counterparts can have with each other.
And you don't want to be ramming a sword into a chalice cup. It's a gentle, slow, still thing, you know?
Leah: So I have a question for you regarding all of that, what's the timing? So how much arousal needs to be built up before you can go to that place? I mean we talked with Sheri Winston about you needing to be at a high level of arousal so that the cervix can actually pull up. The uterus and the cervix pull up and contract and make more space.
And that's oftentimes when women want to grab his ass and bring him in deep. Like how soon in the lovemaking are you going there? Cause if I recall Mare's interview, it's a slower process to move toward the cervix. So do you have a feeling for how much time?
Willow: That's such a good question. I don't think it's as much time as where you are on the arousal scale? Cause if you're with a new partner and things are pretty hot and heavy between you might take a lot less time to get up to like a six. Then it would be with somebody you've been, with for 20 years or something.
Leah: Right.
Willow: So, get up to get out past a five, get up to a six, seven. And then go there and know that it might be uncomfortable at first. It might be achy, sore, tender, and there's that knee-jerk reaction to move away from it, because of what you were speaking to before.
All the trauma we've been through, especially if you've had leap procedures or any kind of high-grade dysplasia removed from your cervix. It can be very, very tender. There can be a lot of scar tissue built up there. Sometimes you feel nothing at all. It just feels kind of numb, potentially because of scar tissue or also of trauma.
And then I think what happens is you get to that sweet spot & it seems to me that the cervix starts to open a bit to receive that in. And it almost pulls the glands of the penis into it, and it's like this suction. And it's like the goddess sucking in that sword.
Oh yeah, it's like that; it's so good. And you might have a cervical orgasm. You may or may not have it, but if you do have it, then I find that there's even more spreading and softening after that. And it's like the cock isn't going anywhere. It's just held there. It's like, okay, here I am. Attention. Attention to the Goddess. So it's really a great way to have an orgasm.
Leah: It almost seems like the cervix is like sucking on the head or something.
Yeah, I recently was like, this must be cervical kegels or something. Cause it started kind of like pulsating, mouthing. This is very interesting.
Leah: Oh, that's really cool. So, we'd love to hear the stories of those of you who have been in touch with the cervix, and its depth of pleasure and to share your stories with us.
I invite the audience to consider finding the words for what their pleasure, and orgasmic sensations feel like emotionally. What happens in an orgasm? What that will do is show other people what's possible for their body as well. And if we can pass on our knowledge about profound pleasure, then we make it available for everyone.
And it's essential as you hear about people's outrageous experiences that you don't use that to compare yourself. If they're having it and I’m not then there must be something wrong with me because I don't know how to do that. Or... I must be flawed. And women are especially prone to this. And so you have to separate yourself from the judgment that might arise and use that as a ding, ding, ding to choose curiosity instead.
Willow: Yes, exactly. That's so well said. Thank you, Leah, for saying that. Because yes, there have been times in the past where if I had been listening to what I just said, I would've been like, Oh wow, I don't have that. How come I can't? You know? And so that's the whole point of reimagining sexuality, and that's what we're doing here, is giving potential ideas about what could potentially be for you and your body. And there are definitely some things that we haven't experienced yet that you can share with us and open up our minds to reimagine what's possible.
Leah: Yeah, and we want to start taking questions that we can answer on air. Here's an invitation to submit your suggestions to the website, it will be in the show notes, so we can have some on-air time sharing the answers.
Willow: Definitely. Let us know.
Leah: Bye, love, love, love. Thanks for hanging with the dish.
Willow: Cheers.
Thanks for tuning in. If the hosts seem to know what they were talking about, that's because they do. Leah Piper is a Tantric sex master coach and a positive psychology facilitator. Dr. Willow Brown is both a Chinese and functional medicine doctor and a Taoist sexology teacher.
Don't forget your comments, likes, subscribes, and suggestions matter. Let's realize this new world together.