A Deep Dive into the World of Sex Toys

Willow: All right, you guys are in for a real spectacular interview coming up here. 

April: Welcome to the sex reimagined podcast, where sex is shame free and pleasure forward. Let's get into the show. 

Willow: Welcome to The Shameless Sex ladies. We are so excited to drop in with these two today. They have a wealth of wisdom. 

So welcome April and Amy were so thrilled you both are here with us. 

April: Thank you you for having us, we're stoked to be here. 

Amy: I know I, I heard we're talking about sex toys. Yeah, baby. 

Willow: We haven't talked about sex toys yet, so I'm super excited who better to enlighten us on sex toys than yeah. April and Amy who've been in the biz for so long.

Leah: You know, I'm really curious if you guys could say a little bit about yourselves.

And how, like what's the Genesis, what's the origin story of how you got into all of this, both with the podcast, and of course the sex toys. I know, I think you were both involved in the sex toy store and Santa Cruz; Pure Pleasure. Mm-hmm so, anyways, yeah tell us a little bit about you. 

[00:01:06] The Genesis Story of how Amy and April got into Human Sexuality

Amy: In the beginning, there were dinosaurs.

Oh but before that was a big bang and then there was Pure Pleasure. Um, okay so let's do the, the shorter version of what could be a really long story. At 18, I decided I wanted to enter the world of human sexuality. Thought I wanted be a Sex Therapist, came from that perspective more so just having a lot of questions about my own body.

I don't understand my body, my orgasms, well, how, how do I even have orgasms? I had only had them from vibrators at that time. I took a human sexuality class at Cabreo, which is, um, community college in Santa Cruz and loved every second of it. Even though the teacher there, the professor was still recommending the diaphragm to 18 year olds, um, which planned parenthood wasn't even doing.

And, um, and they were celibate for 10 years, but the teaching human sexuality. 

Celibacy is all good, everyone, but like, to be a human sexuality teacher was an interesting perspective to share with your students, by the way, I've been celibate for 10 years. And I decided that I loved every second of the class, even though it was kind of, they were making it dry and dull.

I loved reading the textbooks. If I was going to go to school for something I loved, why not go to school for something I love and have so many questions about and just wanna learn about. So ended up being human sexuality, and then fast forward to going to San Francisco state minoring human sexuality.

I, at that point, uh, was in the process of meeting April. We met working out at a restaurant, had nothing to do with sex. And we worked in a restaurant together and immediately felt like deep sisterhood happened very quickly in this weird way. We're like almost like we have past life stuff together, something that we just it's just, it goes beyond this lifetime in our perspective, but, with one of the field trips for my own, my classes at San Francisco state were to Good Vibrations in San Francisco.

[00:02:52] The Beginning of The Pure Pleasure Shop

Amy: So we're kind of one of the OGs of sex, positive sex shops, where you go in and the sex toys, aren't closeted in the back room, you know, it's all the toys are out on display for you to touch all the people that are working there, educators,they're really welcoming embracing sex. And so I called my mom and I was like, We should open up a sex shop like this in Santa Cruz.

And she was like, what me? Really a sex shop. And her mom was like 

April: a travel agent at the time. Yeah. Travel agent. Yes. 

Amy: Or like, and before that real estate, you know, but she wanted to do something to benefit women. Um, because her mom was a very unempowered woman. Her mom never learned how to drive, ride, bike, swim, or swim, kind of like was in service to the, her husband, especially in sex.

And, um, fun fact too. My grandpa used to bootleg porn. So it's apparently in my blood. He was Santa Cruz, right? Oh no LA. He was a TV repairman, but he would do sell porn on the side and, um, he wasn't filming it, but he would just sell the, he was a smut 

April: pedaler they called him back in the day, smut pedaling 

Amy: VHS's. So anyways, fast forward, my mom and I did decide to open up the

store that was we wanted it to be similar to the Good Vibrations theme where we have weekly sex ed classes. Leah, you have taught there multiple times since then we, after 12 years we closed the brick and mortar sold it to Good Vibrations actually. So full circle, brilliant.

[00:04:14] Amy & April join forces

Amy: Right before shelter in place. Thank goodness, and April and I were really close at the time and I saw her work ethic and working in a restaurant. I was like, damn, that girl is a social savant. Like she can, she could sell your own, your sock off your, your own foot to you. Like she just has this way about her and she gets shit done.

Right. Get shit done. And she's a people person. 

April: I was studying law anyway, which I'm not meant to be a lawyer. So I'm happy we started selling dildos. So, yes. Yeah. 

Amy: So I was. Do you wanna become be the manager at our new sex shop and she, what was your response? I don't 

April: even own a vibrator. I don't even own a vibrator.

I've never worked in retail, but I love shopping. So maybe I'll be good 

Amy: at this. So I was like, here's your first vibrator? And actually it's funny, this, her first vibrator I gave her is from a company called Fun Factory, which is actually a company she ended up working for like six years, years later, six and a half years.

Yes. Yeah. Wow. 

Willow: I think that's when I originally met you, Amy at a mutual friend's wedding, you were working for that company at that time. Oh, 

Amy: April 

April: me. I was working for Fun Factory. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, 

Amy: okay. Yeah. She's the head of global 

April: sales. I was, yeah, the director of sales. It was really cool.

And working for a manufacturer, I got to help design toys and oh, actually learned so much about it, but if it weren't for Amy, I would never have been even remotely. I would've remotely thought I belonged in selling sex toys. Like ever in a million years, I grew up in Wisconsin. All of the sex shops you walked into were scary.

They were dudes. We call them whack shacks, right? Where sticky floor stores, floor stores, where you're like, I don't go in there. And you, you get a little nervous too, to even look at anything cause you're afraid you're being, there's a voyeur. There's a voyeur in the back, which is no problem. But you know, there, there was no privacy.

So when Amy said this, I was like, I don't think I wanna work in, in a sex shop because I don't. I was like, you I've never been in one and I don't own a vibrator. And she said that I would be a natural and she was right. 

Amy: She was, she was a manager there for a year and fell in love with someone in Israel and moved away.

The Israel it's only a year. No, it's two years. Two years. Well, then, then she left and I cried. And then, um, but, and then when she moved back to the states with her now Israeli husband later years later, um, brought her to a sex toy trade show, and she instantly got hired to work as like became woman of the year in the sex toy industry.

She's she, April is like the most sought after person in the sex toy industry. She's blushing. She's like, man, don't say that Amy, but every company would love for her to work for them because she knows her shit. 

April: Oh, yes. Can we say shit on the show? Yes. 

Leah: And so charming. 

April: I mean, I know it's charming and then just to sum us up, cause we only have 50 minutes.

[00:06:50] The birth of The Shameless Sex Podcast

April: Um, we started the podcast in 2017 after we were on another podcast called Sex With Emily, Amy and I were both single at the time. I was newly divorced from that Israeli who I still think is awesome. Shout out to you. And we wanted it to be just a passion project with no intention of it blowing up and then slowly but surely we realized how incredibly gifted the world of talking about sex openly on podcasts, how gifted it is to be able to do that and how much of the world needed that.

And we kept receiving more and more feedback about how important our work was. And we've had Willow on the show multiple times And so Shameless Sex sort of fell into our hands. And it's become both of our passion and, and life work, not just a project now, but our actual way of life.

And we're now able to, to we're the top we're we range between the top two to four, but usually two to three, uh, top sexuality podcast in the world. So… 

Leah: wow. Congratulations. That's 

Willow: phenomenal. I know how beautiful it is. It's so amazing. And that's just in, in five years time of doing the podcast, right? 

Amy: Yeah, we just, we just hit our five year Anniversary. We didn't realize someone let us know, like, yeah. So you just had your Five Year Anniversary and we're like, what? Oh so happy. We should have it. We should have like a piece of cake later or something. 

April: Half of that milk bar cake in there. I made some this morning for breakfast. I'll have a bite later. 

Amy: And you can have that with me.

And I just wanna also add to this day with the podcast, we still work for sex toys companies. So I work for a lubricant company called Uber Lube. April's the VP of a company called Hot Octopus. We go to trade shows all the time and see all the toys that are currently out and available.So me and my mom and I still own purepleasureshop.com.

So we're still very immersed in the sex toy world. And we do Shameless Sex as well. Nice. 

Willow: Let's talk about sex toys. Yeah, 

[00:08:41] Let's talk about sex toys

Amy: let's move into. Let's talk about sex toys. 

Where should we begin? Well, I just heard of one. I almost went to go look for it like yesterday, but since you ladies were coming on, I'm like, oh, I should ask them.

[00:08:54] The Rose

Amy: So I think it's called The Rose. Is that right? Mm-hmm everything just talking about this yesterday.

April: Amy's like, what's up with all what hype with The Rose. I was like, I'm not sure. So I asked April because I've been in multiple sex shops. Part of our job is for working for these companies is, is we go and visit sex shops all over.

I'm more regional. April's pretty global actually. But anyways, we go in these sex shops and we, we see all these other toys and the buyers will teach us about these other toys. Like, do you know what about The Rose? And I was like, what is with this rose thing? And there's a lot of hype about it.

My understanding is The Rose is a smaller version of The Suction Vibes that Womanize and Satisfy Her created with the air pulse technology, which is mm-hmm this new, it sounds like this, like, but 

Amy: When it's on your body, it's a little quieter. Right. 

April: but it sounds like that when it's off, I think it sounds almost like a frog ribbiting, which to me was the most distracting piece of using that product because I'm all about sound and I'm used to vibration.

Amy: So vibration will sound like, right. And this is more like, yeah. And is the best way to describe it. I'm sorry. And it's a combo. So the original company, I think Womanizer was the first, I know terrible name, but German, everyone, German. Um, they came out with this technology first years ago. And since then other companies have started to make their own version of these products. 

April: Um, and they're generally like, almost like more handheld. Not like full Magic Wand style of ear thermometer. Yeah. That you would put into your ear at the doctor's office. But The Rose, 

Amy: I think it is a small version of it. And so I think that's kind of, some of the hype is it gives you like this almost light suction, but it is still vibrating. 

April: And it's a little more compact is my understanding. There's also, and I, I don't advocate for this or, or I don't advocate for how the length of time it takes you to have an orgasm, but a lot of their marketing was you have an orgasm in two minutes or less because it's that good? So if it, because everyone's the same, because everyone is exactly the same.

Yes. This why don't advocate for, but that as quick as possible, 

Amy: I was using some vibrators last night. I didn't have any orgasms. My body was a no last night. I was like, all well, that's where we're 

April: at. And that's perfect. I blew my clit out when I was 23 by using the Magic Wand. So now I can't even use air pulse technology because when I do, I'm like, this is not working for me.

I need something 

Amy: So strong. Her body. Custom power tool. 

What happens to your nerves when you use a vibrator consistently?

Willow: If you take 30 days off your, all your Clitorial nerve endings will come back to 

Amy: life. We call it a vibrator. I've call a vibrator strike. She calls it a vibrator fast. I call it cleanse. Yeah. Yeah. Cleanse. Yeah, of course.

Yeah. Yeah. Nice. Yeah. Yours is much more gentle, willow. I'm gonna go with that. A vibrator or a clitoral cleanse. Clitoral cleanse. Yeah. 

Willow: Yeah, now tell us what you guys know about that. Like how, what happens to the clitoral nerve endings when you use vibrators consistently and regularly? 

April: It's kind of a common misconception or myth that I'll bust that I talk to people about.

And Amy does as well that your nerve endings, obviously the vibration can numb them out for a period of time, depending on the human body. But what's really happening is the dopamine that's released your body basically because your brain is your biggest sex organ becomes accustomed to that sensation.

So it will require the vibration again and again. It's almost like an addiction where your body is so used to this, that that's where the break comes in. So you can actually learn to have the dopamine that's released during orgasm from a specific sensation, just like the same with that goes with porn.

If you watch porn all the time and that's how you can orgasm, if you're with an actual human, it might be more difficult for you to have that release. So then take a porn fast. Right? So when people ask that all the time, is it true? You can get desensitized. The truth is it may desensitize you for a specific portion of time, depending on the body and the human.

However, it won't be something that will damage you forever unless you're burning yourself or which would actually do permanent damage or yes. Or, or your piercings, things like that will actually permanently more permanently damage those nerve endings.

Amy: I think there's something to be said too also, yeah, a hundred percent agree with April with the brain being the largest sex organ.

So when you're taking that cleanse and then there's the vagus nerve, we know, you know, connects from, you know, we got the brain and the throat all the way down, like this longest nerve ending system that connects to our pelvic floor. So it makes sense that something happening in our pelvic floor would connect and affect the entire body and the brain's sending on these signals and all these different pieces there.

Um, and, and so there's something to be said about, it's almost like we're an, we're just animals kind of, you know, you train your dog. 

April: I'm gonna fuck you like an animal. 

Oh my God, are we allowed to say the "F" word? Already 

Amy: did, sorry. We wanna train a dog to do something.

[00:13:20] Clitoral Cleanse

Amy: We need repetition to train over and over again, but we're almost like we're doing this reverse repetition of not using the thing. And then maybe just like not touching our clitoris for a while, or just using our hands without the intention of having orgasm or maybe not intention, but a goal like being so driven.

I've personally as someone who used to only have orgasms from vibrators, had to take these fast, these strikes, these cleanses to learn and had to mean I chose it though, because we believe in pleasure. Like if you're just getting off to a vibrator and you're fine with that, go ahead. Knock yourself out.  

April: If you have a partner that's like, there's something wrong with 

Amy: you. You need to learn to get off to my cock. You do you, and don't change this just because I list my, in my opinion, just for someone else. I like to change it for yourself too, if that's important to you.

Um, but as you all know, I know what you, what you teach. And I've been to many of, you know, Leah's classes and have seen what you teach Willow. I mean, you two teach you're the masters of teaching people, the power of their bodies and how to move through these barriers that they get stuck in. Um, and you do it in different ways, but also there's a reason why you're all working together over there, here I'm interviewing you damn it or I'll stop okay.

[00:14:31] How to wean off of a vibrator if you lost the sensation

Leah: So I've got a clarifying question. Really? I just wanna, from your opinion, make sure that I'm what I'm representing to people is accurate because I'm not a sex toy expert, but I have worked with a lot of people who feel like their climaxes are really numbed out. Or their one note and they're not able to like to raise the ceiling up higher in a way that they would really like to. It's like they know how to get relief, but they're not reaching ecstasy mm-hmm. And since I'm limited, in my knowledge, in terms of like where to point them in regards to other sex toys, um, I typically tell them to take a break from a vibrator, but still use a dildo. And if they're feeling, if that creates anxiety or panic, the idea of like, oh my, I don't want, but I need my vibrator.

And it just is like just too much overwhelm. Then my advice typically is to wean themselves, not do a fast, but wean themselves off the vibrator by putting their hand where they would normally put the vibrator mm-hmm and then to put the vibrator on top of their fingers that is touching the area that would normally touch their skin.

And then each time they self-pleasure, or if they're with a partner, they just move the vibrator, like a quarter of an inch, a half an inch or an inch higher. On their hand until they're going all the way up their arm so that they're still getting the vibrational pulse, but it's not like a supercharge pulse so that their body can re acclimate to still getting sensation, but without the attachment or the need to have it be on superpower so that their brain can reestablish a different neural pathway.

That's a different pathway than the habit. It's like, there's a groove in the brain that gets stronger and stronger and deeper and deeper. The more we just have one way of getting off and the idea is let's have multiple ways of getting off. And I imagine that various vibrators and toys can help create those different pathways so that we've got lots of pathways to orgasm lakes, not just one.So. What would you correct?  

[00:16:50] Tips for gaining back full sensation from Amy

Amy: Or I, I think that's brilliant. So I wouldn't correct that I would stick with what you're doing, but here's a couple things I would add. One would be to use the vibrator on yourself while touching yourself in other ways. So say, you wanna learn how to get off, you have your fingers in the first inch of the vaginal canal, like through some circular motion or, or like maybe a finger or two kinda touching the G area or something like that.

Yeah or up your butt, up your butt, wherever. Yeah. You know, you combine them at the same time using the vibrator and the minute it feels like you're getting close to orgasm, the vibrator takes the vibrator away, but you keep doing the other thing. Okay. And, you might not orgasm though. Like, don't get set on having an orgasm, keep doing the other thing.

And then you're like, okay, I do an orgasm now bring the vibrator back. Okay. And then, you're kind of doing this, like it's almost like edging. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But program, but your programming, this other part, I mean, people have done this with like, you know, spinal cord injuries where they're learning how to have orgasms and other parts of their bodies.

And so you can actually use the sex toy in the way that you did, but you're just like pulling it away when you get close to the point of orgasm, but you're still touching yourself in this other way or area in the way that you would like to learn how to orgasm or like you could do a penetrative sex.

Right. We're having penetrative sex. Then I pull the vibrator right before orgasm, but the thing is, people need to be okay with you might not orgasm that time the next time. Maybe not that day, maybe not for a week of practicing this. Right. But you can learn some, you a lot of people through this it's discipline.

Right. It's super disciplined, but they often can learn. Yeah. Devote. Okay. So yeah, she's got better words. Here's oh, like so much more devotion to than my orgasmic pathway. 

Leah: Yeah. Yeah. I like it ,that's great.. I often will tell people like, when they're, when they don't know how to have vaginal orgasms or G-spot orgasms or anal orgasms, I will tell them.

Can you use your clitoris to build a highway mm-hmm to those other nerve plexes, to the pelvic nerve, pudendal nerve stimulate it, then that will create a wire to the pelvic nerve. That'll create a wire to the hypogastric nerve so that you can have anal orgasms and vaginal orgasms, cuz for a lot of people, they don't feel them yet, but the clitoris is an amazing highway that you can connect.

The two it's almost like the clitoris feeds the other orgasms and you just gotta know how to like. You know, build that highway bridge. Yeah. 

April: It's like hungry hippo. Yeah. 

Leah: It like hungry hippo or like whack whackamole my, when my partner calls me, he's like, sometimes you're like, whackamole like one minute.

Amy: Seems like you're getting off. You beat the little. Yeah. 

April: But it keeps moving in a different spot. So anybody from out, they were talking about a game. 

Amy: Yeah. Talking's like all, all of a sudden here comes Amy's orgasm on the spot and then, oh no, no, actually it changed. Now it needs this other thing. Now it needs a finger on the nipple and like, oh no, no.

Now it needs another thing. And, and he is just like, following he's like following whackamole around wherever my pleasure's going. That means he has to stay hyper present too.

Willow: Oh, he going on with your body? He's good at that.

Amy: Oh, he is really good at that. 

Leah: I'm also really glad that you brought up this piece about like, not having orgasm be the goal.

Yeah, because I think that's what gets people really trapped in not being able to have orgasms. Yeah. It gets so fixated on having to have one that it's almost like sabotage. What is your, how do you redirect, like, what's your advice in redirecting someone away from necessarily orgasm? 

[00:20:11] An orgasm is a bonus

April: Well, this probably would be a better conversation to have with Amy as well, because she talks about some, sometimes on her sexual journey.

I am, I'm one of those folks. I love instant gratification. And I don't always go into an experience with myself or with a partner expecting an orgasm to happen. I treat it as a bonus, however, mm-hmm, I really in my brain, I'm like, oh, I want this to happen. It's gonna happen. I know it's gonna happen.

And, and a lot of times it will, and I think retraining your brain to have it be the bonus rather than the goal is what we always recommend, where whenever you're ha be that's where the presence comes in. And I know you both are present. You're both very good at being present because I've hung out with both of you individually and together.

And, uh, and that's something that for me has been the, the biggest challenge is being present in the moment to feel all the sensations and not think about the orgasm, but the journey mm-hmm . And that is the it's simple, but it's almost like a meditation where you're, you're listening to the breath. You're listening to the sounds that are around you.

You are feeling the heartbeat of yourself or the others you're dropping into the moment and the experience you're feeling the sensation of touch rather than just genital touch, but touch on the body. And Amy, like one time Amy was telling me about her partner. She's like, yeah, he gave me a vulva massage for about 30 minutes.

And I was like, that sounds fucking horrible I was like, it's not her jam. She's like, really? You wouldn't, you wouldn't like that. I'm like, no, just external too, by the way, I'm not going inside. 

Amy: Nothing going inside at all. And April's like, I would, I would hate that.

April: That's not her jam. Maybe I'm different.

Maybe I'm an exception of the rule, but for me, I would be, she's a doer. 

Amy: She just hasn't had the right vulva massage yet. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. I'm saying, I'm saying, I mean, I could rent a partner for the 

Willow: day. Yeah, exactly. Maybe 

April: this is maybe this, this is it. But even the idea of sitting there for that long I'd need some kind of five minute indication like bell to ding so I would know how many dings break it up.

Yeah. 

Willow: Amy April would need like, um, rounds, right? 

Amy: Yeah. Yeah. There's, there's someone in, like in the ring round line up, 

April: I could deal with that.  

[00:22:23] Orgasmic Meditation Practice

Amy: That actually would be a better way for me to be more entertaining for you. And I think a lot of people actually use time like the Orgasmic Meditation Practice.

They're all about timers instead of 50 minute timers. And some people are more, they need more regimented time windows. They need to know, you know, and, and that's okay. I mean, and I identify as one of those people in a lot of ways too. Um, the other thing I would add to what April said. You know, it's hard to just say, okay, I'm gonna make the goal is not orgasm, orgasms a bonus, but a lot of us are like, so what the fuck are we doing to you?

I still need a goal. Or like, I need an intention. You know, that's Willow's intention, not goal. Right. There you go, girl. Got it. Got the word. So if you need an intention or goal, um, You know, what if it's just, um, presence of sensation. So just my intention is to focus and all the sensations that I, which is hard to do, that's why April said it's a meditation.

So as there's fingers on my, on my nipples or rubbing down my belly, I'm just focusing on that happening on my body. Or as I'm touching someone else, I'm just focusing on the sensations of my, what it feels like to have me touching them or, or maybe what their body's doing, you know, them with the moaning or, or their, their body's starting to kind of glow and glisten.

And, um, so maybe that could be a goal or intention is to focus on presence or a sensation, or if you need another goal or intention that feels closer to orgasm than just. You know, so just, you know, being set on, on a journey towards pleasure, meaning something, things that feel good in a pleasurable maybe erotic way.

Um, so, and, and I think then we could bring in this broader scale of like, you know, so if we could work from like a zero being like, actually let's go to a negative two, negative two is pain, this feels terrible. Zero numb and a 10 is O town like a big orgasm, like woo. You know, let's think that the transcendent one and then make a nine, like the orgasm you're talking about Leah.

That's like, eh, well, it's a little something, but kinda, it didn't go a lot of places. And then we can, then we can look at it as like a five of just being like, okay, I'm feeling some things and that's nice and I can hang out there and like, okay. And this maybe works more for heady people, but April and I identify for heady people where like all I'm feeling hanging out at seven, you know, it's not quite this like explosive orgasm.

It's a lot of pleasure. And for me, honestly, Hanging out at like a seven through eight and nine for a half an hour sometimes is even way better than going to the 10 here and there.

Willow: That's right. Yeah. 

Leah: Amen. I am all about like seven eights and nines because 10 to me has gotten to the point where it means it's over.

Yeah. And I love to play with the range of like almost tipping over and then like cooling it down, gluing it down, and then getting back to that place where it's like, oh my God, I could tip over. I don't want to. And then it feels like I'm having an orgasm for five minutes. Not just like that white out that lasts a few seconds.

Mm-hmm and I really like what you said about it being like a bonus. An orgasm, one of the things that we often say, and I would, and the reason why I'm loving, what you're saying is cuz it gives more range and variety is we often talk about, make the goal love and orgasms will follow or make the goal fucking.

April: That's just the thing.  

Leah: Not everyone is actually having a love experience with someone that they wanna get down and dirty with. Yeah. So that's not always the best language. So I love the bonus language. My typical response is, look, if it's just a fuck buddy, and it's not really about love. I mean, there's the emotion of love and there's the energy of love.

And I can explain what those things are, but it's still not the right language. So I think it's really great to have variety. In the language that we use mm-hmm because it's, it's not all about loving people. It's just about fucking, like April said.

April: If you ever wanted a frat boy on the show, you have one right now. Okay. 

Amy: Right here in the flesh. And it, some people, some people, you know, for, I remember being younger person before who didn't really have energetic experiences of sexual connection with people. Um, and I was, I had sex with, I don't know, maybe like eight or 10 people by that time, but never had this like expansive experience of like, almost like we're one and you know, you know, two hours have gone by, but it feels like five hours of whatever, you know?

And then I finally experienced that. So before that, I'd say, I don't make love. I fuck. Mm-hmm . And then when I experienced it, I was like, oh, I know. What's it like to make love now? And I didn't have to do that with people I loved though. Right. It was, it was, there was like a, but, but for me, the safer and more connected and respected I felt.

The more likely I was to be able to go to those places. If those, the places, if those things weren't available, I really, I personally would have a hard time going there with someone.

Willow: I was just gonna say enough about love. Let's talk about sex toys. 

Leah: okay. But I do wanna make this one point because there was something, um, that April mentioned, cuz I really relate to.

Um, and even though yes, I can expand, make love long and long and long. My mind is so busy. I got shit that needs to get done or I'm hungry and so those things take precedence. And if I'm in a stage of my sexuality where I'm not really all that connected to it, or I'm not all that in the mood or it's just not super alive in me, then it almost feels like sexuality and intimacy can be like a chore.

And, I have to have strategies to show up. So that, because I've proven to myself that if I show up and I, by the time it's over, I'm super glad I showed up cuz it's like, why would I ever blow this off? You know, or maybe I should blow it off more often. Um, so the, what you're saying about like the whole timer thing, I think one of the things that's helped is for me to say, I get a five minute rule.

I'm gonna show up for this intimacy hour because I said I would, but if I can't drop in, if I am just spinning out, then I get to say, I tried, I love you, later. And, and move on to something else. Cause, and what often happens is then that five minutes turns into 25 minutes or, or like whatever. And that whole piece around like the vulva massage it's variety.

We're all. So freaking different. Like I would prefer someone sort of touch me without touching me. Like, I like the space between touch. That's gonna get me off more than someone just rubbing me and rubbing me and rubbing me. I couldn't tolerate that for five minutes. So it's like, I think I wanna invite the audience to go.

This is so different for everybody. We're probably all capable of receiving a hot, sexy vulva massage for 30 minutes, but we don't know the keys sometimes to sustain that until we really explore range mm-hmm and range can only happen with variety when it comes to touch. 

[00:29:07] April: Yeah. For me, touch is important.

It's not the thing that really gets me. I love hot make-out sessions. Okay. And then talking about what's going to happen, that dirty talk, dirty talk yeah. Is really helpful. And then adding a product, a toy, a sex toy with some fingers. And then some of what I love to feel special. So some of tapping into my love, language of words of affirmation are really important for me, that alone will start to just have my pussy be in tingle mode.

And then I know what's gonna happen. I was like, oh yeah. And then if someone says, especially if my partner's like, oh, I can feel you're gonna orgasm. Like I can feel the blood pumping. I'm like, oh my God. Yes, this is so hot. And then I'm just like, So that does help, but a 30 minute vulva massage. Oh, hell no.

I mean, like that's too much pressure for me right now. 

Leah: That is so good that you listed like four to six things, you know, that, that kind of come in that are all play that are all variety that are all have like a system to work because so many people listening have no idea that there are these elements that really amp up and feed how big is big.

[00:30:19] Tips for sex toy beginner's

Leah: Um, so keep giving us those distinctions. Those are really good. yeah. I'm here for you. Okay. Sex toys, sex toys, sex toys. 

Willow: So if somebody has never used a sex toy be before I was just talking to a potential client the other day, and she's been, you know, struggling with these orgasms that are like, uh, a fraction of a fraction it's like, it's barely a anything.

Right. And she's like, how do I like to raise the, the sensation of it, the frequency, the vibration of it. And so I started asking questions. Do you use a vibrator? Have you ever used anything before? No, she hadn't. So that was, um, a whole edgy thing for her. Just getting started with, um, using a toy at all. So what, what's like, what's a good beginner toy. 

April: Yeah. What's the beginners, great question. I'll start with what, because. Amy, for sure, started younger than I did. And, uh, when she provided me with my first vibrator, I had no idea what I would have tried or even would have purchased if I had walked through a sex shop or now we have online capabilities.

However, I think that what was great about the first product that she gave me was that it had a very low frequency of vibration. So the intensity was really low and it was a vibrator I had always had was like five years old. I think I was five and a half. I humped a Teddy bear. Right. So that was my masturbation. So I know that I needed external stimulation and I had rarely if ever at the time, orgasm from penetrative sex.

Uh, so orgasm for me was tied simply to my self-pleasure practices or masturbation practices. Right. It actually took me a long time to train my brain on how to have orgasm in a partnership experience because I had only, it was always this private thing that I did in, I, I mean, it was closeted, right. I didn't know what I was doing at the time was an orgasm.

It just felt really good. So humping this Teddy bear was great, but I'd never really used my fingers. It was always a pillow or a Teddy bear. So I think starting, depending on who you are, remember, there's about 85% of vulva owning humans out there will orgasm from an external stimulation and you can learn to experience other orgasms in other ways that is not the one size fits all approach, but starting with a vibrator that is external, most likely will be something that will help you.

And the, the latest spot that Amy had given me, you could lay on it. So it was a low vibration that I could lay on and kind of hump. So it was external. It kind of would, it would kind of, um, I didn't even know about humping the Teddy bear at the time by no, she didn't. I had, I did not share that with her until later. 

April:  I'm a long time Humper myself. 

Leah: Oh, nice. Give me a sheet in between my legs. Yeah, that 

April: was all about the pillow.. Yeah. 

Amy: Matt happen in right. 

Leah: Or the armrest of a couch. You know 

April: yeah. Well, I wasn't home alone. Um, no, I mean maybe some couches were, I wasn't home alone thinking about being open in the couch that was like exposed. That's why I was in my room with my Teddy bear alone and with the door closed.

[00:33:19] Vibration speed is very important

April: And so I think that maybe an external vibe has started with the lower frequency of vibration. And if that's just not enough for you, meaning it's not happening, you're getting maybe these little orgasms or tinges of orgasms. And it's just, you could also try there's so many, you could try a rabbit style vibrator, meaning something with an internal, external capability that you kind of insert and play with the modes.

You can also try just, you could try one of the air, pulse techs, technology products. Amy loves those. I think this is my last piece about this. I think when you start off with, and I love the Magic Wand, right? The Magic Wand is this. It used to be called the Hitachi magic wand. Hitachi didn't wanna be associated with sex toys.

So they sold off the name, and now it's just the Magic Wand they used to have. It was a back massager that had this eighties lady with leotard massage on the front, and everyone was using it as a sex toy. But it's the size of a baseball bat. Now they have a smaller one. It's quite huge. Yeah, it's huge. And this is my only bit of history for you within this recording is that they've never the, the voltage isn't compatible with

places in Europe and or Australia. So that product has never been out in those markets, those regions it's primarily in the United States and people in those countries from my global sex toy years, as a, as selling sex toys all over the world. No, no one has had access. So everyone in those countries wants a low frequency of vibration.

And in the states, I swear to you. I've had the Magic Wand. I got it after this latest spot and after another one and ever since then, I need the strongest power tool. And now, whenever I feel a toy, I'm like, that's not gonna work for me. I need something stronger. I need something stronger. I blew up my clit when I was 25.

I didn't blow up my clit and I do think it's so because of the association and what the bodies do with the amount of, of intense frequency and there's rumbly and fuzzy and low. So, Amy I'm sure has something to say about this. But that is my, that's my theory that I postulate to share with everyone. So if you are new to vibrators, I would recommend starting low or going with the Air Pulse Tech and, and then learn about your body from there.

Amy: So basically not starting with the Magic Wand, basically. Yeah. I, I would go, yeah, that's what I did was like, holy shit. That's a lot, right? Like you could use that over like four pairs of jeans. 

April: How, my first time I ejaculated was from a Magic Wand.

Amy: So what i'm saying is if you're new to sex toys and you have not really explored yet, so you don't have this big orgasm barrier necessarily.

It's not like you've tried everything and nothing's working, right. Because if you tried everything and nothing's working, go get the Magic Wand. It's probably gonna give you an orgasm right, right, right. And imagine the baseball bat. Yeah. Go get a baseball bat. But also, the electric version is just the only two settings strong and stronger.

April: That's what I have. That's what I first have. I still have it. They now have 

Amy: a rechargeable and a mini rechargeable that has lighter vibration options. Good. So you could start with the mini rechargeable wand and start at the, and so going with April saying, so first that was one example. Like you tried all other things, you tried all these sex toys.

None of them are working and you're not having the orgasm go get the Magic Wand. Um, if you want a new sex toy, like what April's saying. Yes. Multiple speeds are super important. Start with the lower ones and really play around with those as much as you can, because if you get accustomed to the higher setting really, really quickly, that's what happens.

The brain's like, whoa, that's our one. You know, we like that one. And then there's the, what would we call it? A vibrator cleanse. Then you might, you know, eventually want or need to take a vibrator cleanse. But those multiple speeds are, I think, really important. And whether it's just external or internal, that's up to you, um, to decide.

But like April said, most people are using the vibrations or having the orgasms from 

April: they're discontinuing the latest spot too, oh really? Like they are so that one's not recommended, but doing, if you want external is something that's hands free that you can lay on like that there are other options.

They look more like, kind 

Amy: like a curve. Not, 

Willow: What are 

Amy: the options? 

Leah: I want something that kind of molds to the vulva and then just dances 

[00:37:15] The Queen "B"

April: it. Hot Octopus is making one, right. As we speak right now, that's almost done called The Queen "B" with the like queen vulva and it's going, I saw it and it's with oscillating pulse plate technology.

It's not available yet. However, by the time, uh, this year ends, we are in 2022. It's supposed to be released in Q4, So in December we should have The Queen "B" which will be really cool.

I'm um, helping with some of the process of designing it. And there are other ones you could do hands free that you can kind of lay on what there's. So 

Amy: what's that one We Vibe makes a couple things like The Wish by We Vibe. And it's like this blue almost looks like it's not like the size it's smaller than my hand, but it kind of cups the body.

April: The Moxi too, which sits in your underwear. 

Amy: Yeah. It's an underwear vibe. There's The Moxi there's We Vibe, Wish. 

Willow: I think they still make The Wish the We Vibe is for when you're with a partner, right?

Amy: Well, no, they make multiple things. That's a brand with multiple products. And they started with that one that has the part, like almost like a C or one part goes inside.

And then there's two motors. One's in the kind of G area. And one is on the clitoris. 

April: I wanna speak 

Leah: to one more. They calling the Hitachi. That's not 

[00:38:20]How to use male sex toys to boost your pleasure as a vulva owner 

April: The Magic Wand, The Magic Wand from Vibertex one thing that people don't think about now. And I'm speaking to, uh, vibrating cock rings because when we think of cock rings folks, think about, okay, that's for a penis.

However, you can use these on a dildo. If you want, wanted to, you could use them in a hand, you can also use them in partner play. And there's one called The Atom Plus that I helped design because I love you gave me one of those April.

Willow: I have 

April: I have one too. Yes it's. Oh, did you hand them out? I did.

You did. I went to a retreat and I love it so much. If you, if the person that's wearing it, you have to prepare for, and they are not all the same. Some of them, you don't have to wait until the person's flaccid. So if they're semi erect or if they're totally erect, you cannot get this particular product on.

What I'm saying is that vibrating cock rings are a great way to grind on something on a penis owner, on a dildo that you can have hands free grinding stimulation on your external bits. And it can be quite pleasurable. If you wanted to learn how to do that, that might seem extreme. If you've never used a product before on your own. However, if you are partnered up and your partner has a penis, and they're into wanting to check that out, you could incorporate that into your playtime to add a little bit of spice and zest and something of a different variety. So tell 

Willow: us about The Atom that you, that you co that you created.

[00:39:46] A Sex Toy April helped create called "The Atom"

April: So The Atom Plus there's two versions. The Atom Plus with A T O M is a dual motored cock ring. So there's, uh, bottom portion is for the perineum and so it has a perineum stimulation nub that people on the west coast call it the taint some on the east coast call it the Gooch. So whatever you wanna call it, the rest was call a perineum.

Leah: I say, perinuem. I know you're from Michigan. You say perineum. I 

April: can't say that. I've never heard gooch before. Gooch that's what they call it in Brooklyn. 

Amy: Shout out. The K Spot. The Kundalini spot. 

Leah: The yoni 

Amy: nati. 

There we go. Now. Depends on who you're talking to. 

Leah: We got words for words, for words. 

April: Um, so what happens is this product is stretchy.

We actually engineered and invented this coil system that connects the top portion to the bottom perineum stimulation part. So what happens is you stick each testicle in, you stuff, the rest of your soft bits in your soft shaft, and you change it from horizontal to vertical. So that switch, when, what happens when you have an erection or blood flow happening, it constricts the blood flow to hold the package into place.

So you can last longer if you want to. Okay. And when you turn it on, it makes the entire shaft from base to tip vibrate. And because of the shape of it, it has The Hot Octopus logo is on the outside with a little nub, a hot. So I'm trying this tonight. You have to try it. 

Willow: They just have to be, they have to, it's been sitting in my drawer since you gave it to me 

April: ,waiting. It stretches.

Don't be afraid to stretch it. And the bottom portion is Hot Octopus, Adam Plus the bottom portion is where you turn it on and off. I'm gonna give you a tutorial Willow off air after this. So you can, uh, feel comfortable about it because that's the hardest part is, uh, figuring out how to turn it on and off.

And when it's on the body, it can be tricky. But that in, in general, it's designed with this logo that because of the wishbone shape of the clitoris, when you're grinding on that, it's instant orgasm if you're on the top, if you are riding the, the penis 

[00:41:42] The Atom vs. The Atom Plus

Leah: owner, I think what I have, it just looks like it is one ring.

Oh, to put both testicles in that 

April: one is one ring for the shaft, The Atom. So we have one motor version of that one. That's a basic, you can also use that as a handheld product, if you want, or on a dildo. No Balls in that one. Then we have a dual motored Atom Plus that has two motors. So depending I don't remember what I gave, um, each of you, but they're, they're both the motors.

Really beautiful. And you'll learn the more you experience vibration. You'll kind of learn what your body likes. If it likes buzzy, if it likes deep and rumbly, if it likes more of the high pitched, if it likes the Air Pulse Tech, mine loves the more high pitched buzzy. Yes.

I feel like it's more penetrative and you'll figure it out. But that motor is this rumbly deep penetrative motor that feels almost fuzzy. So April, 

Leah: Will you send us a link to this one? That it sounds like you put one testicle in one, another testicle in the other, and then it goes from horizontal to vertical preventing the testicles from going up into the body to release the Ejaculation, keeps them lowered, um, to delay ejaculation.

April: This could change some  lives. We have a lux version too, where it's remote controlled. Hi, babe. Turning him on 

Amy: Anna. It has two motors on top of one, the bottom. So kind of whatever position you're in, you're getting vibrations. Like everyone's getting vibrations and the cock rings, like April's saying they're, if you're trying to receive the vibrations as the receiver, so the one not wearing it is more about grinding.

Like if you're doing the thrusting thing, you're just getting these little teases on your, your pits. So it is more of like a grinding sensation that we, our bodies would be doing together, but the double motor makes it well, double the pleasure, cuz like we can change positions. The motor just keeps going.

There's a motor 

[00:43:26] Vulva's are like fingerprints

April: everywhere, almost everywhere, but you know what I mean? It's one of my favorite products on the market. Most of the external ticklers. When you go and shop at sex shops, this was something that I realized working at PurePleasureShop.com that it before the.com all of the before the .Com, but all of the ticklers were shaped bunny ears, or they were pointed and vulvas are like fingerprints.

We know this because all of us have one. So be proud of your vulva, all of us on the screen, all of us on the screen, all of this is what I'm saying. All of us that have one , uh, if you haven't looked at a lot of vulvas in a row, yours is going to be individual. And now, you know, it's just like a fingerprint.

So Amy and I are definitely hung differently and we're proud of that. And so, yeah, we are having something that is a tickler like bunny ears. A lot of times I would cut them off of the cock ring. That's why I thought the grinding part would be really pivotal for a vulva owner fucking a dildo or making love to a penis.

[00:44:24] How can toys help men with ejaculatory control?

Leah: Well, what I'm kind of interested in is helping men with premature Ejaculation. I mean, yes, I want all the vulva owners out there to be able to grind and get down and get, and get it all that they want. But I'm also really wanting to support those with premature Ejaculation to have success and, and not feel like they have to avoid intimacy or be embarrassed or be filled with shame.

And it sounds like the product that you're talking about can really assist with that. Am I following you, right? Yes. 

April: We say it. It helps with ejaculatory control. Okay. Instead, because premature sometimes can, um, premature for whom, right? Some people might have a negative awareness around what it means to have erectile dysfunction.

It feels like it's dysfunctional. So we say issues. And then we say ejaculatory control versus premature Ejaculation because the premature part can sound rough to some folks. And it does, we don't wanna, I and Amy is really great about this too. Reframing the brain and the shame and the brain like reframing the shame.

Yeah. And get rid of the premature because yes, it might not be premature for someone, someone might be into, into quickies, which what's a quickie, right? That's all relative. It does help with ejaculatory control because it will help with longevity because of the constriction of the blood flows. And also means if you do have any Ejaculation issues, meaning if you have something your, your cock isn't getting hard when you wanted to, it will help actually with longevity in that you sustain an erection. 

[00:45:52] Tips for penis rings (male sex toys)

Amy: One thing to know about cock rings. So if you're trying to do what you're all talking about is to constrict the blood flow to either postpone Ejaculation or to maintain a harder cock.

A couple things need to happen. One, it does have to go around the testicles. So if you put it just on the shaft, it's not gonna do those things. Um, and a lot of people go into sex shop and they're like, oh, you just put in the shaft, right? Like, no, the ball's go in there too. Except for the Adam, the regular Adam sex toy.

There are some that are designed just for the shaft, but that's just to put a vibrator on a cock. The other thing is if someone has erectile issues to the point where they cannot get blood flow in their cock at all, this might be like, they're diabetic, they're on medication. Cock rings still, probably won't work for them.

Penis cock pumps probably won't work for them either. They have to be able to still get some sort of blood flow there. Like a cock ring is not going to be the magic blue pill for the, for those people. So there has to be at least some sort of blood flow there for the cock ring to kind of constrict around to keep the blood there, to keep the erection.

April: However, Hot Octopus makes something that was designed for nine years of medical research, actually now 15 years going on, I just read a report that will help with blood flow to the penis. So it actually helps with erectile issues. You're talking about The Pulse. The Pulse toys. That's something they do.

Amy: Yeah. But if, again, if something's on sort of heart medication or something and they just, their cock just 

April: never gives, or they've had a vasectomy where that's yes, totally a throwing a cock ring 

Amy: on it, probably isn't going to do much good. It won't. And you'll have an unhappy customer. At least we saw that you, so there you go.

And we don't like those unhappy customers . No we don't, we love you, but we just want you everyone to be happy. 

[00:47:32] Cock Ring vs. hand

Leah: Well, I think some, my experience has been having worked with a lot of men with this direct issue is you don't even need a cock ring you can use your hand. Yeah. And grip the base like a cock ring can.

And then you can stroke and people who, who mentally believe they cannot have an erection. Just it's a mind shift and they've had, uh, they don't have their prostate anymore. I mean, I've watched people who have convinced themselves they've never had an erection in 20 years and I'm like, um, excuse me, you have an erection right now.

Would you look down and check it out? um, so there is, I think sometimes it's the mind that makes up a choice and makes up a decision. Or there's a doctor that has said you're not capable of this, or you have no blood flow or this likely won't happen. And then that belief system actually, again, becomes a self-fulfilling, um, prophecy where you really just have to start talking to your body differently.

[00:48:27] The brain is the biggest sex organ

Amy: This is the sex. The biggest sex organ 

Amy: is your brain, right? And the longer, the longer we hang out in the story, the longer it takes to come out of the story, too. Right? So you're hung on that story for 20 years. It's for most people, it's not this overnight thing. And, um, and it's, it's a long time to live in this, this idea of who I am as a sexual being.

Willow: But one of, one of the things I love about sexuality as a healing tool though, is it's exponential in its ability to shift those stories and to shift that thinking like I've, you know, I've walked the world over with healing modalities and tried them all and have done them all. And the sexual healing of not only the physical body, but those neuro pathways in the brain of like, I can only come this one way mm-hmm or I can't get hard, or I don't last long.

And I come too early, whatever. Stories. Um, I have found that that is the most potent and the most powerful and quickest way to really eradicate a lot of that much, much faster than you would be able to even otherwise. Well, 

Leah: I, I think what you're really pointing to is. It comes back sometimes to that quick fix people go in with an expectation.

I want this to make everything better. And if it doesn't, then again, I'm a failure. And then, we have to sort of use our minds in a more powerful way. We need to be more curious and be more open and less like, okay, I just wanna have this quick fix. Quick fixes are great, but this is a journey like who we are as sexual beings is an unfolding and we go through stages and we go through seasons and there are times when things work for us for so many years, and now suddenly they don't work for us anymore and we gotta be mutable and adaptable.

And Leah and 

[00:50:11] A quick fix does not work in the sexual world

April: you know what I mean? That is a good point that I just wanna highlight, because what you just said is really important for folks out there who have tried a vibrator and it hasn't worked for them who have tried a sex toy, a specific way at a specific time in their life. It hasn't worked for them and they assume that sex toys in general, won't work for them, right. And this is where the key is. And you're the key holder is to try new things, add more to the menu. And just because one thing didn't work for you doesn't mean that I tried anal that one time and anals not, for me, it hurt. Right? Right. You have to revisit and you have to understand that our bodies are changing every single day.

And just because one particular sex toy didn't work for you at one point in your life doesn't mean all of them are bad or all of them won't work for you. And that's also fun to explore. You're like the map holder to your own body seeking the treasure. That's buried deep within. Ooh, Willow.

Do you approve of that? 

Amy: And I, that got 

Willow: the stamp of approval over here. 

[00:51:15] Where to ask your questions around sex toys to feel comfortable

Leah: You know, I think that's such a good reminder because I think I've been that person who has sort of made up my mind like, oh, I've really never found one that I, that felt like it was meant for me. And then it's, oh, and they're so expensive.

And how many times do I wanna keep on trying something and for it not to work out and I don't wanna waste my money. Like, there's a story. You can start to talk yourself out of experimenting. And this is why I think what you two are doing is so important because you're allowing us to have a conversation and to get these different opinions and to be exposed to all sorts of variety.

Of options we get to stay safe is cuz sometimes this stuff's hard to talk about and we can have different sensations arise and we don't necessarily wanna talk to the person to the stranger behind the counter about sex toys or what's working for us or what's not working for us even though they look really nice, we're embarrassed.

So I think the podcast framework is so helpful because people get to tune in and listen and have their hearts and minds opened. So they realize that this is an adventure mm-hmm and then you can get a clue of where, where would be the, it sounds like how they're describing this would be the financial risk.

I'd be willing to take it, to see if it works. And instead of feeling like you gotta try 10 things that you hate and to waste all this money, you've got people, people are talking about it. Yeah. And I'm wondering if you have any other tips or resources where people can still kind of feel private until they get more comfortable.

With being more open about sexuality to start to expand their life a little bit. 

Amy: Well, I mean, obviously listen to podcasts because that is in your own realm, but so if you're not ready to go into a sex shop, I know like for us at PurePleasureShop.com, this store have my mom. We invite people to send us an email and you say what you're looking for.

So I want, I'm never owned a vibrator before I want to buy a vibrator. I don't know what to get. And we would probably respond with like, okay, well, let's ask you a couple questions first and to figure to help you. And then we would send you some recommendations. So it's super private, you know, we don't give your information away.

[00:53:27] A special offer from Shameless Sex

Amy: We send you links to various things that, from what we can tell, you're looking for, um, might support that I can't speak for all sex shops. I would say go with a sex positive sex shop, like Pure Pleasure is one of the sex positive meanings like we only care high quality toys that are non-toxic.

There's a lot of sex toys on the market that still are made of toxic materials that smell like crazy weird plasticy things. And they're not good for your body, especially vulvas. And so that's an easy way and buts. Yeah. Or basically orifices or mucus membranes. You don't want that there. So a sex positive store like Pure Pleasure.

We don't carry that there and we can help you find it. Just send us an email you can send to, I think it's [email protected] and, um, and for all of our listeners at Shameless Sex, which anywhere we are are them are talking about Pure Pleasure. Um, they get 15% off with coupon code, Shameless Sex. You can also email us sex questions at Shameless Sex.

We can't answer all of them, but we sometimes feature them in the intro of our episodes of people asking about sex toys, but we get, you know, a lot of emails, they 

April: could also do a search on our ShamelessSex.com you could put in the search bar, what your question is, whether it's sex toys or anal, or I wanna learn more about the gooch.

I don't know if we have Gooch in there. We don't, you can go. We do, we do highlighting which questions we are discussing on the show. It's usually in the intro and 

Amy: a lot of episodes on sex toys we do. 

April: We do. Absolutely. 

[00:54:49] Sex toys just for men

Willow: Yeah. So we've talked a lot about, um, there's I mean, in my mind, there's sex toys for women there's sex toys for the couple.

What about just for the man? 

Amy: That was the guy-brator she was just talking about over there. Oh, the guy 

April: the it's called The Pulse. It's by Hot Octopus. We actually have a worldwide patent. We license the technology from the medical side. It uses what's called an oscillating pulse plate. And what happened? Why it's it's so it's it's I like to call the automatic masturbator.

There's also a couple's version that doesn't require a hard cock to play with that incorporates vulva play with penis, owning humans playing. And so I also like to say it's safer than popping a Viagra or a Cialis, because if you aren't prescribed certain medications SSRIs, you're not supposed to mix and match those meds.

And if you're not, sometimes this is a more price, um, price sensitive, uh, option to explore rather than saying cheap, because it's, it's much more affordable than buying Viagra, right? So if you are price conscious, we have one at $99 and it has this really cool, uh, oscillating pulse bit that you put on your cock.

No matter if it's totally flaccid, semi erect or fully erect. And you do not have to actually stroke with it. However you can, if you wanna buy some lube and stroke with it. Great for folks that wanna explore edging or multiple orgasms as a penis owner, if you have an experience with your partner and you wanna go ahead, it happens with this.

The oscillation versus vibration helps blood flow go deeper into the dermal tissue. So it is a way that the medical side has used for a long time. And it was tested, uh, with nine years of medical research on folks that had spinal cord injuries in Denmark, because they wanted people to have the ability to have children.

So my, the founders took this tech and we licensed it and now we created a sex toy for civilian use. So we're not allowed to make civilians. We're not allowed to make medical claims, but it is based on the exact same science and research as what's called The ferticare that's still used in hospitals today on spinal cord injuries for penis owners, robots done. And I'm out. I'm glitching. I 

Amy: mean, my partner dyslexia use in the morning before he goes to work. So what's 

April: it called so there's The Pulse Solo Essential is our flagship product. That's been out since the beginning, since 2013.

There's a luxury version of that that has a remote control. And then there's The Pulse Duo, which is the couple's version. So sort of like the We Vibe, but it's a foreplay product to prep up both bits. So you can get the blood flowing on both, uh, sides, remove the device, you can do the edging and then you can, um, you know, play with the hard cock on then there's also The Duo Luxury Version.

So each person can be in control of their own remote control, the vibrating portion and the oscillating portion then there's an interactive portion where you can have sex with porn stars and with webcam models, and maybe with 

Amy: April, someday, and all available at Pure Pleasure Shop. 

Leah: What about me? I want them to able to have sex with me.

Oh yeah. And do they just need, I would get really off on knowing other people were getting off 

Amy: and then you can make some good money on the side, just saying I'll license my image. 

Willow: Well for only some people. 

Amy: This is going to a whole new level. I know, i'm like when can I have sex with Leah. I'm like, wait a minute. 

Leah: I don't exactly when a bunch of crazy emails.

Uh, so cancel, cancel. Nevermind. Get a hold 

Amy: of me. 

April: Yes. 

Leah: Cool. Well please send us links. We'll add them to the show notes. 

Amy: We will, 

April: we'll do a hundred percent for sure. We want everyone to have the beauty of an orgasm yeah. On the journey. Yeah. To the treasures 

Willow: within. So there's just a world within worlds.

I mean, sexuality has its own worlds within worlds, but then you bring in pleasure toys and you start to play with these, um, these products that we've been hearing about and you can really take your, your sexual experience and what you thought you were capable of far above and beyond what you could even imagine.

That's the whole point of this is reimagining what's possible for you. So it's been such a pleasure and such an honor to have both of you on today 

Leah: so much. Oh, love you girls. Thank you so much. Love you. Thank you. Love 

Amy: you. 

Leah: Love, love, love. Here we go. ciao.

[00:59:07] The Dish

April: Now our favorite part. The dish

Leah: sex reimagined with the shameless sex podcast, 

Willow: girls with Amy and April. Yeah. I just love those girls. They are just so fun to hang out with. They're so fun. They're just hilarious. I love the way April just like whatever comes to her mind, she holds nothing back. 

Leah: Yeah, she is all SAS and totally sweet. And I absolutely love her

um, hilarious personality. If you haven't visited ShamelessSex.com and taken a look at their podcast, you're definitely missing out. Yeah. Go check them out. Uh, cuz you are just gonna get a hoot from these two. 

Willow: Mm-hmm and Amy is just like, so you know, so poised, but so fun too. Wealth, wealth of information.

Holy cow really knows a lot about especially the sex toy industry, which was this whole episode was all about the sex toys. Yeah. 

Leah: It was fun to brush up on, uh, some sex toy knowledge, and we haven't ordered yet, but I plan to . Yeah. And 

Willow: what's possible with sex toys and how it, sex toys really open up a whole new realm of sexuality for you.

And I just love the invitation that they bring, like if you've never tried a vibrator before it's okay. You know, I think I love that story that, um, April gave us, like Amy actually gave her her very first vibrator. Yeah. I know. I love that too. And, now she's like the vibrator queen of the industry.

Leah: I know it is fun to see her passion and yeah. It's really neat that she gets to, um, participate and collaborate with the design of things. Yeah. I think that's really neat. I, I love that there were some cautionary tales. Um, regarding sex toys 

Willow: in clitoral blow out. Yeah don't blow your 

Leah: clit out. Yeah, like that was so interesting.

I had never heard it talked about quite like that before. And I think that was really important messaging. I even liked their messaging around, um, you know, avoiding the term premature Ejaculation. Yeah, that was great. Good. I do think there is some medical validity for sure to the term, but I do really support and like the avoidance of that because there's something about some medical terminology that is shame an imprint of shame and it's something is insurmountable.

Right. And it really made me realize that, you know, in my seminars we never use the word premature Ejaculation. We only talk about ejaculatory choice or ejaculatory control control. Um, But I have seen some value in it because wider audiences do understand the word premature Ejaculation. So yeah. Again, interesting take mm-hmm and as I sort of filtered through my own, beingness, like, okay, well, where do I wanna come back to in terms of the use of the word premature Ejaculation?

Where do I wanna roll that language back? Mm-hmm where is it appropriate? Like it helped me broaden mm-hmm and be more intentional. Yeah. So I was glad for that reminder and for that plug that they brought to the episode. 

Willow: Yeah, that was great. What did they use? What term did they use? I forget. Ejaculatory control.

Leah: okay. Yeah. Yeah. If I recall correctly, mm-hmm fact check, someone will tell us if our memory's wrong, but. Um, you know, a little tidbit that I learned about Amy, although, uh, it wasn't shared on the podcast is that she is part of a long line of Santa Cruzan. Yes. 

Willow: And also has a whole founding family of Santa Cruz.

Foundings. Yeah. Santa Cruz, California. Yeah, exactly. And then also has this, um, this in her family line of, I think it was her uncle or great-grandfather or somebody who had been peddling porn at one point, in his journey. So like, and you know, Amy has this shop with her mom, you know, I've always loved that Pure Pleasure.

Leah: Oh, you know what I was so encouraged in this episode was just hearing their journey of podcasting. 

Willow: Yeah, isn't it great. They started it out as a passion project and, and I've even heard, um, Amy talk about it, just personal conversation around, you know, we just, we were gonna try it out for three months and then we were gonna check in and see if we wanted to keep going.

And we never had that check in, yeah. Now they're five years into it and they are flying. I mean, they're doing so great. They are working on a really big secret project right now. So that's exciting. Y'all are gonna see that coming out soon. And, um, you know, they've just really become such leaders in this industry and really are giving so much permission to reimagine the way you think about sexuality.

You know, they, the speakers that they have on their podcast and mm-hmm, the, the openness with which they speak is really opening up other people's communication, vocal chords, voices, minds, um, relationships. I have mutual friends of ours in our community. They're like, oh, I've just been, I haven't been doing anything except for listening to Shameless Sex in my relationship is like 10 times better.

My sex life is 10 times better. What a great testimonial. 

Leah: That's awesome. Yeah. It's really exciting. Um, yeah, I just really feel total celebration for the work that they're doing and for their messaging and for who they are. 

Willow: Yeah. For who they are. So raw. Real 

Leah: fantastic. Smart wise. Yeah. Funny fun. 

Willow: Cute. Sexy.

Yeah. Adorable, hot as hell. 

Leah: Yeah. We love you. And Amy we're big fans. Yeah. Well, love love love. 

April: Thanks for tuning in. If the hosts seem to know what you were talking about. That's because they do. Leah Piper is a Tantric sex master coach and a positive psychology facilitator. Dr. Willow Brown is both a Chinese and functional medicine doctor and a Taoist sexology teacher.

Don't forget your comments likes subscribes and suggestions matter. Let's realize this new world together.