Max Carey: Filmmaker Confession - I Thought I Knew Sex Until I Made This Documentary | #146

What Happens When a "Regular Guy" Meets a Dominatrix Who Shatters Everything He Believes About Sex

Filmmaker Max Carey never expected one honest conversation to lead him down a rabbit hole that would challenge his deepest beliefs about human desire, communication, and connection. What started as curiosity became a five-year journey creating the groundbreaking documentary "Touch Kink"—and the insights he discovered will revolutionize how you think about relationships.

In a raw and revealing conversation on the Sex Reimagined Podcast with hosts Leah Piper and Dr. Willow Brown, Max shared the shocking discoveries he made while creating his groundbreaking documentary "Touch Kink"—insights that will revolutionize how you think about relationships and communication.

The Meeting That Changed Everything

It started with January Sarah, a dominatrix who wasn't anything like Max expected. "She sat down and answered my stupid questions," Max recalls. "I'm a pretty regular guy and I had this idea, this crazy idea of what she would be, and she wasn't any of those things. She was kind, she took her time with me."

That conversation shattered Max's preconceptions and opened doors into a community he never imagined exploring. What he discovered there would fundamentally change his understanding of human connection.

The Revolutionary Communication Secret

After years of filming within kink communities, Max uncovered something that mainstream relationships desperately need to learn: the power of explicit communication. The BDSM community has perfected a structured approach that creates deeper intimacy than most "vanilla" relationships ever achieve:

• Negotiate boundaries and desires explicitly
• Explore within agreed-upon limits
• Check-in during and after experiences
• Integrate lessons learned for future encounters

"It might seem a bit complicated for some people," Max explains, "but you don't understand the rewards. You form a connection and a trust that takes you to a place that you can't be [without it]."

Research supports Max's observations: 85% of BDSM practitioners state that consent and boundaries are critical factors in their activities, demonstrating a level of communication mastery that could benefit any relationship.

The Creative Genius Connection

Perhaps most surprising is Max's theory about the link between sexual diversity and innovation throughout history.

"Leonardo da Vinci arrested for Crimes Against Nature," he notes, referencing the artist's unconventional sexuality. "Alan Turing, the inventor of the computer... chemically castrated in spite of ending World War II probably five years faster than anything else."

Max's hypothesis? Sexual creativity drives innovation. The minds that think differently about sexuality often think differently about everything—leading to the breakthroughs that shape our world.

Beyond Labels: The Spectrum of Human Desire

One of Max's most profound realizations challenges our obsession with sexual categorization.

"Humans don't fit into boxes," he declares. "We are organic, we're analog. Sometimes you're more feminine, sometimes you're more masculine, sometimes you're more dominant... We have to stop putting ourselves into boxes."

This perspective offers freedom from the limiting labels that constrain human potential. As Max puts it: "We like what we like, we see ourselves how we see ourselves, and we want what we want—at that moment."

The Psychology of Contrast

Max's global perspective—gained from living in 137 countries—revealed another crucial insight about human satisfaction.

"Everything is a wave," he explains, describing the biochemical reality of pleasure and pain. "You need both sides... This bottom is going to be the line that there'll be pleasure coming."

This understanding applies far beyond sexuality. Contrast creates depth. Without valleys, there are no peaks. Without challenge, there's no growth.

The Art of Multiple Selves

Perhaps most liberating is Max's insight about identity complexity. "Don't feel bad about the fact that you're two people at least—you're probably more than that," he says. "You can be a good mother, a good father, a PTA member... And you could be something completely different. That's not a contradiction."

This permission to embrace multiple facets of ourselves—public and private—offers psychological freedom that many people desperately need.

A Tragic Loss and Beautiful Tribute

The documentary carries special meaning due to the tragic loss of January Sarah, who died by suicide during production. Max's decision to honor her life rather than sensationalize her death demonstrates the respect and humanity that infuses his work.

"I didn't want to make it about that," Max reflects, showing the ethical foundation that guides his filmmaking.

Why This Matters for Everyone

Whether you're curious about kink or completely uninterested, Max's insights offer valuable lessons for anyone seeking deeper connection:

• Communication creates intimacy when it's explicit and honest
• Sexual diversity drives creativity and should be celebrated
• Human sexuality exists on a spectrum that defies simple categorization
• Multiple identities are healthy, not contradictory
• Contrast enhances satisfaction in all areas of life
  
  

The Bigger Picture

Max's journey from "regular guy" to revolutionary filmmaker illustrates something profound about human potential. When we open our minds to different ways of being, we don't just learn about others—we discover new possibilities within ourselves.

"The biggest thing I learned is that I didn't know anything," Max admits. "Everything that I thought about the world... was all bullshit."

That kind of radical openness—the willingness to have our assumptions shattered—might be exactly what our divided world needs.

Ready to Expand Your Perspective?

Max Carey's conversation on Sex Reimagined offers insights that extend far beyond sexuality into the realms of communication, creativity, and human connection. Whether you're looking to improve your relationships or simply understand the beautiful complexity of human desire, this episode provides a masterclass in open-minded exploration.

Watch "Touch Kink" documentary at TouchKink.com, Apple TV, or Amazon Prime to see these insights in action.

Ready to challenge your assumptions about sexuality and communication? Your perspective will never be the same.