Women Want This In Bed | Kevin Anthony: What 90% Of Men Get Wrong About Female Desire | #168
The Moment She Stopped Looking at You *That Way* – And How to Get It Back
A conversation that could save your relationship
There’s a moment in many relationships when everything shifts. Maybe it happens gradually—those lingering touches become hurried, eye contact during intimacy disappears, and what used to be passionate connection feels more like obligation. Or perhaps it’s sudden—one day she’s responsive, the next she’s pulling away from even your casual affection. [file:75]
If you’ve found yourself wondering, “What happened to the woman who used to want me?” you’re not alone. More importantly, you’re not powerless to change it. [file:75]
Listen & Watch the Full Conversation
Full audio episode:
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When “Showing Up” Isn’t Enough
Marcus* thought he was doing everything right. He was present for sex, focused on her pleasure, trying all the techniques he’d learned—yet something was still off. His partner could feel a disconnect he couldn’t name. [file:75]
“The second you check out, she feels it,” explains certified sexologist Kevin Anthony in his conversation on the Sex Reimagined Podcast with hosts Leah Piper and Dr. Willow Brown. You can be looking straight into her eyes, but if you’re mentally somewhere else, she knows exactly where you went. [file:75]
What She’s Actually Craving (It’s Not Just Technique)
Kevin’s work with men reveals a consistent pattern: when women stop wanting sex, it’s rarely because they’ve “lost their libido.” When women are having truly satisfying sex, they pursue it, ask for it, and often initiate. The deeper issue is that they’re not getting the kind of sex that makes them want more. [file:75]
What they are really responding to is masculine presence—a man who is engaged, attuned, and emotionally connected. That looks like noticing the subtle changes in her breathing and body, staying out of performance anxiety and fantasy, and creating emotional connection before pushing for physical connection. [file:75]
The Daily Practices That Build Desire
Kevin describes something he calls a “constant state of arousal”—not about being sexually turned on all day, but about tending to the relationship in small, consistent ways that keep attraction alive. [file:75]
- Keep your word. Every time you say you’ll do something and follow through, you build trust. Kevin calls this “lubrication” for the relationship because reliability makes vulnerability and openness possible. [file:75]
- Practice daily appreciation. Share three things you love or appreciate about your partner each day. Over time, this shifts the focus from what’s missing to what’s working and helps her feel truly seen. [file:75]
- Use intentional, non-demanding touch. Not every touch has to lead to sex. Ask what types of affection she actually enjoys instead of assuming—small, attuned touch can be incredibly regulating for her nervous system. [file:75]
When Sex Has Completely Stopped
If intimacy has shut down altogether, Kevin suggests taking sex entirely off the table while you rebuild connection. You can’t fix a closed door by pushing harder on it. First, you need to re-establish, “I actually like being with this person.” [file:75]
That means taking pressure off outcomes, focusing on conversation and shared experiences, showing up as teammates instead of adversaries, and creating safety for honest, vulnerable dialogue about what’s really going on. [file:75]
The Integrated Masculine: What Truly Draws Her In
Kevin talks about the “integrated masculine” as a powerful middle path between the rigid, domineering macho stereotype and the overly passive “whatever you want” nice-guy approach. Neither extreme gives women the grounded presence they long for. [file:75]
The integrated masculine blends leadership with collaboration, strength with emotional intelligence, and protection with genuine consideration of her needs—so she doesn’t have to step into a masculine role just to feel safe and held. [file:75]
What Women Can Stop Doing: The Four Cs
Kevin’s late wife noticed four common relationship habits that drain masculine confidence: Complain, Criticize, Compete, and Control. When these patterns dominate, men often shut down or withdraw. [file:75]
The antidote isn’t perfection; it’s awareness and appreciation. When men feel recognized for the ways they do show up, they naturally want to show up more fully. This feedback loop of appreciation and presence serves both partners’ desire. [file:75]
The Ripple Effect of Sexual Connection
Kevin sees over and over that when a couple’s sexual connection improves, the rest of life begins to shift too. Confidence rises, stress drops, and the energy created in the bedroom carries into work, parenting, creativity, and purpose. [file:75]
Instead of showing up to life resentful because he hasn’t had sex in weeks, a man who feels sexually connected often shows up resourced, relaxed, and inspired—and that benefits everyone around him. [file:75]
Your Next Step
True sexual mastery isn’t about memorizing techniques; it’s about cultivating presence, honesty, and consistent practices that build trust, safety, and attraction over time. The real question is not whether your relationship can change—but whether you’re willing to show up differently. [file:75]
Listen to the full conversation with Kevin Anthony, Leah Piper, and Dr. Willow Brown to hear the specific scripts, practices, and mindset shifts that can begin transforming your dynamic today. [file:75]
Explore more of Kevin’s work and resources mentioned in the episode here: [file:75]
For more Sex Reimagined episodes, resources, and upcoming events, visit the podcast hub on the Sex Reimagined website. [file:75]
