Leah Piper and Dr. Willow Brown Sex Reimagined Podcast

Leah & Dr. Willow: The Words That Make Her Wet - Why Your Sexual Language Matters More Than You Think | #132

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The Secret Language of Desire: What Women Really Want to Hear During Intimate Moments

Have you ever found yourself at a loss for words in the bedroom? That moment when you want to say something—anything—to heighten the connection, but your mind goes blank?
You're definitely not alone.

In our latest Sex Reimagined Podcast episode, hosts Leah Piper and Dr. Willow Brown dive into one of the most requested topics from listeners: what women really want to hear during intimate moments.

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The Power of Words in the Bedroom 🗣️

"I was with a partner who never made a sound, never said a word during our most intimate moments," shared one listener who wrote in. "It felt like I was alone, even though he was right there with me."

This sentiment echoes what many experience—the profound disconnection that can happen when verbal expression is missing from sexual encounters.

As Leah explains in the episode, "What causes you to press the brakes versus what makes you want to press the accelerator? That's what we need to understand about ourselves and our partners."

Beyond "Dirty Talk" 🔥

When most people think about bedroom communication, their mind jumps straight to explicit "dirty talk." But as our hosts discuss, what women want to hear spans a much broader spectrum.

For some women, like Leah, being called "a good girl" creates an immediate erotic charge. "There is something that erotically opens at getting that approval that the younger psyche in me will crave," she explains.

Meanwhile, Dr. Willow has a completely different reaction: "I've always found it condescending. I don't know why. Maybe something in my upbringing."

This contrast perfectly illustrates one of the episode's central points: what opens one woman might completely close another.

Erotic Blueprint Quiz 💡

Understanding Your Erotic Blueprint 🧬

The conversation takes a fascinating turn when the hosts explain the concept of "erotic blueprints"—essentially the love languages of sexuality.
These five types (energetic, sensual, sexual, kinky, and shapeshifter) help explain why different words and phrases create such varied responses in different women.

"Think of the erotic blueprint as being the love languages of the bedroom, the love languages of sexuality," says Leah. "When you dive deeper into them, you have an experience of both the shadow side and the light side."

Understanding your own blueprint—and your partner's—can transform your verbal communication during intimate moments.

The Power of Possession 💞

Perhaps the most surprising revelation from the episode is how many women respond positively to possessive language during sex.
"I want you to be possessive in the bedroom," Leah explains. "I want to feel claimed. I want to be chosen. That is a hard wire in the psyche of most people, but women especially due to so much of our conditioning going back thousands of years."

Dr. Willow agrees, sharing a story about trying out the phrase "your pussy is mine" during a personal practice and discovering how arousing it was—despite seeming contradictory to empowered feminist values outside the bedroom.

This distinction between what we enjoy in sexual contexts versus everyday life proves to be a crucial insight.

Cheat Sheet | The Erotic Blueprints PDF 📄

Verbal Affirmations That Create Magic ✨

Both hosts emphasize how powerful body-affirming language can be during intimate moments.
"You'll never get tired of being told 'you smell so good' or 'you taste so good,'" Leah shares. "Especially near genitals... that makes you feel so much more relaxed. Most of us have worried that we don't have the right smell for someone."

Dr. Willow introduces the concept of a "word bath"—a practice where you verbally appreciate every part of your partner's body from head to toe. This simple yet profound exercise can heal deep insecurities and create unprecedented intimacy.

The Physical-Verbal Connection 🧠

The conversation takes a fascinating scientific turn when Dr. Willow explains the connection between the throat and genitals through the vagus nerve.
"When your throat is supported in a loving way," she explains, "the vagus nerve, which is all about receiving and rest and digest and allowing yourself to open to new experiences in life, gets a chance to relax and surrender."

This physiological link helps explain why verbal expression and sexual openness are so deeply connected.

Moving Beyond Discomfort 🌱

Perhaps the most actionable takeaway from the episode is the encouragement to normalize conversations about sexual preferences.
"We need to have these conversations with our friend groups," Leah insists. "We need to normalize that and make that comfortable and safe for each other. And then we need to have these conversations with potential partners, with our current partners."

Both hosts acknowledge the vulnerability required to express what you want verbally. What if your partner thinks it's strange? What if they judge you?
But as they point out, without taking that risk, you might never discover what truly ignites your desire—or your partner's.

Finding Your Voice 🔊

The episode concludes with a powerful reminder: stay curious and keep exploring what works for you.
"It's okay if somebody doesn't want to say 'dirty little slut' to you," Dr. Willow reassures. "It's not a big deal. Move on. What else do you want to hear?"
This mindset of openness, experimentation, and non-judgment creates the foundation for truly transformative intimate communication.

Ready to Discover Your Verbal Turn-Ons?

Whether you're struggling to find the right words in the bedroom or simply curious about expanding your erotic vocabulary, this episode offers practical insights that could revolutionize your intimate connections.
Listen to the full episode here to discover all the nuances and personal stories that bring these concepts to life.
And remember—there's no "right" way to talk during intimate moments. The journey of discovering what opens you and your partner is what makes sexual communication so exciting.

Want to explore more? Email [email protected] for a free Erotic Blueprint Cheat Sheet to discover your primary sexual language.
Have you discovered particular words or phrases that light you up? Share your thoughts in the comments below (anonymously if you prefer).

Episode Links & Resources 🔗

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