#126 | 1st Date Questions You MUST Ask | Laurie Handlers: The Revolutionary Conversation That Changes Everything About Dating

Feb 11, 2025

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The 1st Date Conversation That Changes Everything: Laurie Handlers' Boundary-Forward Approach to Extraordinary Love

When you've spent over four decades as a teacher and author in sacred sexuality, you don't just learn about pleasure. You learn what really keeps long-term relationships extraordinary, how to find love at any age, and why clear boundaries might be the hottest tool in your dating toolkit. International best-selling author Laurie Handlers joins Leah Piper and Dr. Willow Brown to share decades of wisdom, laugh-out-loud stories, and a dating conversation you'll wish you had years ago.

Laurie is one of the lead facilitators at ISTA (International School of Temple Arts), author of Sex and Happiness: The Tantric Laws of Intimacy and Sex and Happiness: It Gets Better With Age, and creator of the Extraordinary Lovers Experience for singles and couples. Her advice? Be your own beloved, keep risking, and have the courage to speak truth, even when you're nervous, even on the first date.

In This Episode You'll Discover:

Laurie's RBDSMTV system, a seven-point safer sex and intimacy conversation for first dates and beyond covering relationship status, boundaries, desires, sexual health, meaning, trauma response, and vaccination status.
How to make awkward sex talks fun, simple, and transformative.
Secrets to maintaining attraction and passion in long-term love. Laurie met her now-husband at 67.
Why pleasure numbers, pain thresholds, and clear requests create more pleasure and less resentment.
The power of ritual and mapping the body, and how conscious touch and attunement keeps desire alive.
Real stories from Laurie's journey with tantra meets BDSM, and how playing with edges can bring radical healing and connection.

Laurie's Extraordinary Lovers Experience and Sacred Sexuality Work

Laurie and her husband teach couples and singles how to break free from Disney delusions, handle differences and arguments with skill, and create legendary partnerships. Their programs weave tantra, modern psychology, boundary-setting, clear communication, and bold exploration, plus hands-on rituals so you'll never settle for another DINS relationship (Double Income, No Sex).

The Boundary Revolution: Why This Is the Hottest Conversation in Modern Dating

Boundaries aren't just about saying no. They're about knowing what you want, saying yes to yourself, and letting others know how you stay safe, open, and fully available for pleasure and connection. Laurie's free gift, the Master Your Boundaries Workbook, makes it easy.

Learn how to deliver "no" as a complete sentence, with zero drama or explanation required.
Discover the one ritual couples are using to communicate difficult truths without retribution.
Get Laurie's exact questions for mapping your desires, needs, and sexual possibilities.

Laurie's Top Advice for Singles (Especially in Midlife and Beyond)

Be authentically you, and bring your full self on the first date.
Pleasure isn't age dependent: keep your sexual energy moving every day, for yourself first and foremost.
Let go of "the list" and Prince or Princess Charming fantasies. Be open to meeting in the here and now.
Find your own beloved within; the great love you're seeking often starts with you.

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