Feeling Triggered in Relationships? | Sheridan Ruth: The Parasympathetic Shift That Heals Attachment Wounds | #139

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Feeling Triggered in Relationships? Your Body Knows the Way Home

Have you ever noticed how your body seems to know things before your mind does? That gut feeling when something's off in a relationship. The tightness in your chest during a stressful meeting. The heaviness in your limbs when you're emotionally exhausted. These aren't just random sensations—they're messages from your nervous system trying to guide you toward healing.

In the latest episode of the Sex Reimagined Podcast, hosts Leah Piper and Dr. Willow Brown sit down with Sheridan Ruth, whose personal journey through trauma and recovery offers profound insights into how our bodies can lead us back to wholeness when our minds don't know the way.

When Your Body Becomes the Enemy

At just seven years old, Sheridan lost all her hair to an autoimmune disease. "I have an incurable autoimmune disease. I have no hair, and it put me in a really dark place where I had very low self-esteem," Sheridan shared. This early trauma created a disconnect between Sheridan and her body—a pattern many of us experience when our physical selves become associated with pain, shame, or betrayal.

This disconnection eventually led her into an abusive relationship that spanned multiple forms of harm: financial, sexual, emotional, and physical. But it was also through reconnecting with her body that Sheridan found her way out.

The Yoga Practice That Changed Everything

"Yoga started slowly giving me that sense of support and confidence in myself. And that is actually what helped me leave that relationship," Sheridan explained. What began as physical movement evolved into a deeper understanding of the nervous system and how our bodies respond to safety and danger. This knowledge became crucial when, just weeks after Sheridan left her abusive partner, he died by suicide—leaving her alone in a foreign country, traumatized, and having lost everything.

Rather than remaining trapped in this trauma, Sheridan discovered that the key to healing wasn't just in her thoughts—it was in her body.

Understanding Your Nervous System: The Highway of Communication

The nervous system functions like "a highway of communication between your brain and your body," as Sheridan describes it. This system takes information from your senses and perception and sends it to your brain, while your brain sends signals back to your body. When functioning optimally, this system creates a beautiful dance between two states:

The Parasympathetic State: Your natural home. When your body feels safe, it enters what's called the parasympathetic state—what some experts call "rest and digest" or what Dr. Willow Brown describes as the "receptive state."
The Sympathetic State: Your protection system. In contrast, when your body perceives danger, it shifts into the sympathetic state—commonly known as "fight or flight."

The problem? Many of us get stuck in sympathetic dominance, perceiving threats where none exist and preventing us from experiencing the connection, pleasure, and presence that comes with parasympathetic regulation.

4 Practical Somatic Techniques for Nervous System Regulation

During the conversation, Sheridan shared several techniques that can help shift your nervous system from fight-or-flight to a state of safety and connection:

Cross-Body Regulation: Cross your arms over your body, place your right hand on the left side and your left hand on the right, and gently stroke downward. Breathe deeply and direct your gaze toward something pleasant or neutral.
Belief Identification and Reframing: Ask yourself, "What is the belief that I picked up at some point in my life that is making me feel unsafe?" Identify limiting beliefs and begin to expand your perspective.
Finding Familiar Safety: Identify places, people, or situations where you feel most safe. Notice the sensations in your body and see if you can recreate them elsewhere.
Embracing Pleasure in Discomfort: Rather than avoiding discomfort, lean into it with curiosity. Notice sensations without the story, breathe into areas of tension, and observe how sensations transform with acceptance.

How These Techniques Transform Relationships

Somatic awareness profoundly impacts our relationships—especially romantic partnerships. When we feel unsafe, we often try to control others or situations to create a sense of security, but this approach creates more tension and distance. By cultivating embodied safety, we can show up more authentically in relationships, be vulnerable without fear of abandonment, and honor our needs without controlling others.

"I'm safe even if they want something different sexually than I do. I'm safe even if my bank account goes down," Sheridan explained. "When you practice that embodied safety, the way that you relate to people is so much more fun and real and deep."

The Business of Embodiment

Sheridan's personal healing journey eventually became her life's work. After rebuilding her life through somatic practices, she developed a body-based business methodology that helps others do the same. "I built this great coaching business with hair loss coaching, confidence coaching, anxiety coaching, and relationship coaching," she shared. "And people were like, 'How did you do that?' And I was like, 'Oh, I did it like this, this is what I can teach you.'"

Her approach reminds us that success isn't separate from embodiment—that our professional lives flourish when we're regulated, present, and connected to our physical experience.

Begin Your Own Somatic Healing Journey

If you're curious about how somatic healing might support your own journey toward greater presence, pleasure, and connection, Sheridan offers a free resource to get started: her Nervous System Regulation Cheat Sheet.

Download Sheridan’s Nervous System Regulation Cheat Sheet

And don't miss the full conversation on the Sex Reimagined Podcast with hosts Leah Piper and Dr. Willow Brown, where Sheridan shares more about: