YOUR BRAIN ON PORN | Patrick Eilers - The 90-Day Reset That Increases Porn Recovery Success | #127
Your Brain on Porn: The 90-Day Reset That Increases Porn Recovery Success
Certified sex addiction therapist Patrick Eilers joins Leah Piper and Dr. Willow Brown for a deeply honest conversation about porn addiction recovery, healing shame, and what it really takes to rebuild both self and relationships in today’s digital age. With over 24 million Americans struggling with some form of sex addiction, understanding the roots of this challenge—and how to overcome it—is more urgent than ever.
You’ll hear actionable strategies, life-changing insights, and real stories about early exposure, partner trauma, brain chemistry, and the life-changing power of a structured 90-day reset for recovery. Whether you’re struggling, in partnership with someone who is, or simply want to understand the impact of porn on mental and relational health, this episode is essential listening.
FULL AUDIO EPISODE HERE ๐ง
FULL VIDEO EPISODE HERE ๐ฅ
Sex Reimagined Podcast App Directory ๐ฑ
Why Porn Addiction Is Spiking in the Digital Age
Patrick reveals children as young as 5-10 years old are now regularly exposed to online pornography—a change with profound consequences for healthy development and relationships. “We haven’t really had a full generation from birth to death have the internet entirely in their life... we’re in the midst of the storm and still have ways to go,” he explains.
Key Signs of Problematic Porn Use & Addiction ๐ฉ
- Preoccupation with sexual thoughts, images, or fantasy that you cannot control.
- Watching porn or acting out sexually even when you've told yourself you'd stop.
- Increasing secrecy and isolation from others.
- Escalation to higher-risk behaviors or real-world acting out.
- Negative impacts on relationships, finances, and self-worth.
Patrick encourages listeners not to get stuck in diagnostic labels, but to get honest about thought patterns, compulsive behaviors, and the real-life consequences of use.
The 90-Day Reset: How Recovery Really Works ๐ง
According to Patrick, abstinence from porn (and learning healthy ways to nurture pleasure and connection) is key. “Usually it takes about 90 days for your brain to start to change those pathways again—rebuilding a new freeway,” he explains.
- Step 1: Individual therapy and honest self-assessment
- Step 2: Therapist-led recovery groups or support circles (12-step, SA, SAA, Celebrate Recovery, etc.)
- Step 3: Sponsorship/mentorship with someone further along the recovery path
The most successful recoveries address not only the behavior, but partner healing and rebuilding trust through full disclosure and transparency where appropriate.
How Partners Get Support (& Why It's Critical) ๐
Patrick’s practice specializes in both addiction recovery and partner trauma. Often, it’s a partner’s ultimatum or heartbreak that leads someone to finally seek help. “If your relationship is like an aquarium, betrayal is like drops of red dye. You can’t just remove the colored water... you must heal together.” Support for partners is just as important as support for those struggling with addiction.
Healthy Sexuality: The 12 Dimensions ๐
Patrick shares Dr. Patrick Carnes’ 12 dimensions of healthy sexuality, covering nurturing, sensuality, self-image, communication skills, and true partnership. Rediscovering pleasure in connection—beyond self-focused gratification and secret shame—is at the heart of real transformation.
The Neurobiology of Recovery: Nutrition, Brain Chemistry & Pleasure ๐
Patrick and the hosts discuss ground-breaking nutritional approaches for rewiring the brain (including amino acids), why “what you resist persists,” and the importance of rebuilding self-worth, pleasure, and loving connection beyond porn. Books like The Diet Cure by Julia Ross and The Mood Cure offer powerful tools for healing brain chemistry and tackling root causes.
Ready for Help? Resources & Links ๐ฑ
- Patrick’s Website | North Point Counseling
- Patrick’s Instagram | @rated_PGE
- ITAP | Find a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist
- Bloomworks Concepts and Coaching
- North Point Perspective Podcast
- Book | The Diet Cure by Julia Ross
- Book | The Mood Cure by Julia Ross
Sex Reimagined Podcast App Directory ๐ฑ
porn addiction recovery, sex addiction, Patrick Eilers, 90-day reset, partner trauma, healthy sexuality, dopamine, amino acids, brain chemistry, porn abstinence, relationship healing, Sex Reimagined Podcast, Leah Piper, Dr. Willow Brown
