SELF-HATRED TO LIBERATION | Elizabeth Hendrick: How a Japanese Dominatrix Freed Me from Internalized Homophobia | #129
From Dominatrix’s Slave to Self-Love: Elizabeth Hendrick’s Remarkable Journey
Could the path to healing sometimes lead through darkness? In this powerful episode of the Sex Reimagined Podcast, Elizabeth Hendrick shares how a two-year master-slave relationship with a Japanese dominatrix became her unexpected—and ultimately liberating—gateway to self-acceptance and true self-love.
Her story is a riveting exploration of internalized homophobia, BDSM, trauma, and the transformative potential of hitting “absolute zero.”
As a child in England, Elizabeth got the message that her sexuality made her not just different, but wrong. “When your period started, everybody in the class knew, and the question on the tip of everyone’s tongue was, ‘How do you feel about Alexandra now?’” she remembers. That moment crystallized years of subtle messaging into a painful belief: she was fundamentally unworthy of love and belonging, a belief that shaped her relationships for decades.
FULL AUDIO EPISODE HERE 🎧
FULL VIDEO EPISODE HERE 🎥
After years of trying to consciously “fix” self-hatred through religion and talk therapy, Elizabeth’s life took an unexpected turn in Japan’s BDSM community. Bondage and devotion—especially the pain of pleasing her sadist partner Tomo—became the unlikely landscape for her spiritual transformation.
While most would see such submission as debasement, Elizabeth reveals—to hosts Dr. Willow Brown and Leah Piper—how complete surrender and “absolute zero” forced her to finally nurture her own inner child.
The Paradox of Healing Through Submission
It wasn’t conscious acceptance or even the liberating words of a priest that facilitated her deepest shift. As Elizabeth explains, “I was still hardwired subconsciously to hate myself. Just talking to a priest and accepting it consciously didn’t do the job that I needed to fully accept myself.” Only after being stripped of all comforts—career, crutches, and her dominant’s affection—did new, healthier shoots of self-love begin to grow.
What BDSM Taught Her About Love, Boundaries & the Human Psyche 🔗
- The difference between a submissive and a masochist—and the surprising spiritual undertones in each role
- Why devotion and the need to “please” can transform pain into sacred healing…or endless suffering
- How consent and compassion are central within healthy BDSM, and how boundaries helped rebuild her inner foundation
- How her journey through darkness led to a bestselling memoir and a new capacity for genuine, unconditional self-love
- That sometimes, the only way out is through—by fully experiencing the pain we try hardest to avoid
Sex Reimagined Podcast App Directory 📱
Listen to the Full Episode & Go Deeper
Get the full details of Elizabeth’s book Exodai, the role of spiritual guides and past life regression in her healing, and what she wants others wrestling with self-acceptance to know.
This conversation is honest, sometimes graphic, and always courageous—a testament to what’s possible on the other side of darkness.
Episode & Resource Links 🔗
