Unlock Your Inner Power: Goddess Initiations and Healing Cultural Conditioning with Abneet Sandhar
[00:00:00] Introducing Abneet Sandhar- Feminine Embodiment Coach
Dr. Willow Brown: We are in for a treat today, as we dive in and have this juicy conversation with Abneet Sandhar, who is a woman's Temple facilitator trained in classical Indian Tantra yoga. Abneet is a Feminine Embodiment Coach whose obsessed with guiding women back to their inner healing and reclaiming their inner power because healing the world takes place when the sacred feminine is brought back into balance.
She is a former burlesque model, nude art model, and lifelong sacred arts dancer. She encourages women to enter their bodies more fully in order to show up more deeply in every aspect of their lives, in intimate relating, in communication, in money, and in sex. So we are in for a fun ride today with Abneet.
Announcer: Welcome to the Sex Reimagined Podcast, where sex is shame. And pleasure forward. Let's get into the show.
Dr. Willow Brown: Welcome. We're so pleased to have you.
Leah Piper: Yes, welcome, Abneet.
Abneet Sandhar: Aw, thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited.
Leah Piper: Yay.
[00:01:12] The Genesis Story of Abneet Sandhar - Growing Up in a Traditional Indian Home
Dr. Willow Brown: So tell us a little bit about your journey, like before you got into this Tantric realm and, how you got into it and the whole kind of
Leah Piper: Yeah, like the genesis story.
Abneet Sandhar: Yes, yes. I love talking about this. So I grew up as a very, curious, sensual child and that wasn't something that was welcomed in my family home for any of the listeners here that grew up, in a traditional home or even as an Indian person in this world. If your parents weren't very like, you know, modern, that kind of expression wasn't very welcomed.
And, seeing it from an eagle eye vision, I can see how, that trauma is perpetuated and it bleeds through the ancestry. And, I love and forgive my parents now, but at that time, the message that I got as a child is that my sensuality and my natural expression wasn't something that's good, right?
And that there was something inherently like wrong with me. And so really this path into Tantra, into Woman's Temple was really a very deep process for me of carefully, one by one, removing the oppressive filters of internalized misogyny, of the patriarchy, of capitalism. Like all of those systems I had to dismantle within myself in order to feel that permission to feel pleasure, right?
Yeah.
Leah Piper: So what led you, what were some of the pivotal inflection points that got you onto this path of dismantling? How did you, what influenced you?
[00:02:57] Addiction and Bad Relationships
Abneet Sandhar: Yes. I wanna first say, because I know that, sometimes it's taboo to talk about, but I am someone who's a recovered, like I had addiction to porn, right?
And I was a sex addict and I was often cycling through relationships with men who were not emotionally available, but they were domineering. So very much mimicking the, imprinting that I got when I was younger. And so really my influences came from a place of wanting to integrate all the parts of myself that I thought were wrong or bad or dirty.
And so I began my journey, with a beautiful group of women here in the states called Awakening Women. And, it's amazing because they had dedicated their entire lives to studying goddess mythology, actually Indian goddess mythology, and me being Indian, feeling like very disconnected from my heritage.
It was, amazing to find this multicultural group of women from all over the world paying homage to really stuff that's from my ancient ancestry, but even that I felt disconnected to. Wow. So it was just this really gorgeous way that the universe wove this tapestry of like healing.
Leah Piper: Yeah, I bet that was tremendously healing.
How long were you involved in that, community, assuming that maybe you still are?
Abneet Sandhar: I still am, I'm actually hoping to fly to Greece, in about a month to just upgrade my trainings with Chameli. Yeah. Yeah. I've been with them for about, since I started my business, actually, which was six years ago.
Around 2017. Yeah.
Leah Piper: And is that where you also got your initial training into Tantra, or did that happen somewhere else?
Abneet Sandhar: That happened simultaneously when I met my Master Tantra yoga teacher, Maitreyi Yogacharini. And I purposely wanted to choose a woman of color and a woman who was from an authentic Tantric lineage.
Cause that was something that was really important to me in the decolonization process. And so really it was also with Maitreyi that I learned what, actual tantra is. As opposed to just a term that's used a lot where people misunderstand the roots of that word. And so that was very, very much a coming home process for me, also to my ancestry as well.
Yeah.
Leah Piper: And, and so then how would you define Tantra?
[00:05:22] Unveiling the Meaning of Tantra
Abneet Sandhar: Tantra literally means a tool for expansion. And so Tantra, is for me, is a path where we invite the woman's body, right? The uterus, the breasts. We invite emotions, we invite the earth. Everything that was created by male monks for male monks, that kind of spiritual, you know, old school practice, it doesn't include women.
And so this path of Tantra is a very much a feminine path. Right? And so that is Tantra to me. It's weaving myself back into the totality of the universe, including my sensuality, right? As opposed to seeing my sensuality as an obstacle to my spirituality.
Leah Piper: Beautiful.
Dr. Willow Brown: Yeah. So it's like it's stepping into more wholeness.
Yes. It's really bringing all parts of yourself online. Yes. And, really playing with and utilizing and not having any shame or any, apology around, who you innately came into this life as, which was a more, a more sensually inclined being. Right? And so what an incredible journey in healing.
I'm so curious, like which of the, which of the goddesses, the Indian goddesses do you really resonate with a lot?
[00:06:37] The Goddess Durga- Protection and Motherhood
Abneet Sandhar: They're with me right now. It's so interesting. I'm gonna pull her out. She's actually hiding behind this goddess. So this is the one that really, really helped me a lot.
This is Goddess Durga and, you know, I was gonna name like a more sensual goddess first, but I have to mention Durga, because this is the goddess that was the portal, the key of building safety in my root, in my muladhara chakra. And I don't even get into any sensual work with women in my one-to-one coaching until we hang out with this goddess first, right?
Like really coming home to the root chakra, like creating safety in the body. I can't open up into pleasure until I am feeling some semblance of safety and root and groundedness in my being. So, Durga is my main goddess.
Dr. Willow Brown: I love it. Yeah, she's a powerful one. Yeah. Really sort of has this warrior spirit to her too, like this no bullshit kind of thing, which is so root chakra, so primal, you know?
Yeah. Like, we are here to be here. We didn't come here to not be here, so let's stand in the power of our physicality and what it's for. Yeah. Yeah.
Abneet Sandhar: Beautiful. Very much so. And I wanna mention one more goddess because she flew outta my goddess deck is Kali.
Dr. Willow Brown: Yeah, Oh, I've been playing with Kali lately.
Yes, she's been raging through my life lately.
[00:08:12] What is Sacred Rage?
Abneet Sandhar: I love guiding women through sacred rage practice, because again, blocks to sensuality and pleasure, that can get dissolved once we alchemize our rage. Women, I, really feel it's an initiation process when we go from Princess to Queen. That kind of shift, that process happens when we unleash so much pent up rage.
And again, not as an accusation, and this is something I love guiding in Women's Temple, but channeling that rage up the body from the earth and through the body as an invitation to deeper presence. Not an accusation or like vomiting that anger. I feel like every woman on this earth, it would be so beautiful to have every woman go through that alchemical rage process, to then unearth her deeper erotic nature.
Leah Piper: Yeah.
Dr. Willow Brown: So how do you guide women through that, process?
Abneet Sandhar: Yes. So first we work with the root. We work with the tree of a woman's body are her legs and her souls of her feet and her perineum so we really work with chanting Durga's mantra. Just into the body and really building like a somatic memory of that. And then we ripple it up through the body. And every time I do the example of this process, like you can hear a pin drop in the room because it's like women aren't used to it. Women aren't seeing that kind of grizzly mama bear energy, just like rip through the freaking room.
And then it's such a blessing and an honor to see women rise and then they, go through their process. It's just incredible to see women wake up to that primal power in the body.
Leah Piper: Well, I think it's really true that most women, if not all women, have a certain amount of suppressed rage.
Abneet Sandhar: Yes.
Leah Piper: Unfelt, unexplored uninvestigated. Rage. Rage, rage, rage. And there's nothing that suppresses pleasure more than suppressed rage. It's like a numbing agent. And so what can awaken and what freedom can be actualized is proportionate to how much we allow ourselves to feel the emotions that often get deemed as bad emotions or wrong emotions or unfeminine emotions.
It's like this, what's acceptable, what's not acceptable? Don't be that angry woman. Be a good girl. All of these like, misbehaving actions. When we get the message that our emotions aren't okay, that our anger isn't okay, and we need to... I love that you have an initiation that really helps women take ownership of that and transmute it and transcend it.
Abneet Sandhar: It's still sticky.
Like I love what you just said. Cause I'm like, oh yeah, I hear that a lot when they're like, I don't, wanna be that angry woman. There's almost like, Spiritual bypassing or that kind of love and light thing going on. And it's like, Uhuh honey, we can't get there until we do this.
Yeah
Dr. Willow Brown: Yeah. because it's the root chakra, right? You gotta start at the base at the root of who you are, that primal, survival versus thrival. Like, are you here to just survive as a woman? Many, many eons have been going in that way. Yeah. You know, but now we get to shift into thriving. And accessing that sacred rage, you know, is part of the process.
I think so many women default to sadness. When that fire rises up inside the tears start flowing instead of the actual fire and the tears kind of just quell and quench the fire and put it out for a period of time but it doesn't actually get fully expressed. So the patterns continue inside of relationships and sexuality until you do some Durga Work.
Right?
Abneet Sandhar: Yeah. Durga and Kali work. Yeah, and I wanna say it's also solar plexus because it's like, I always say to women, have you ever looked at the way men walk around in this world? Like an average man? He takes up space. He has a healthy sense of entitlement, but yet women, we are constantly apologizing for occupying our own God-given space. Right. And so the Kali Practice also really helps us to expand and like take up freaking space, you know? Yes.
Dr. Willow Brown: I love it. So powerful. And there's a beautiful death and rebirth thing that Kali brings, right? So it's all happening at once. It's not just a release, it's a release and a coming into all at the same time.
So it's in that fire and in that flame and in that dance it's a shamonic transformation. Like it's not linear. Yeah.
Abneet Sandhar: Very alchemical. Yes.
Leah Piper: And so having gone through these processes yourself and have done this tremendous amount of healing. And it sounds like you've navigated whatever addiction pieces were there, and you've gone through the fire of rage and you're owning your own feminine sovereignty, and sexuality, how has that changed your relationship to your family of origin? I'm kind of curious, like what is it like now between you and your family having made all this transformation within yourself?
[00:13:43] Reparenting our Inner Child
Abneet Sandhar: I think they still don't understand what the hell I do. Yeah. I think they're still like, woo.
Yes. I feel that it's helped me just to stay rooted and grounded and to own where my shit ends and where their shit begins. And also just loving them deeply as humans. Like seeing them as humans on their own separate journey has been so, so helpful to me. To be like, you know what, I know you don't understand me.
And I'm like the cycle breaker of the family. I used to say black sheep, but now I say cycle breaker.
Leah Piper: That's great.
Dr. Willow Brown: Good reterm. Yeah.
Abneet Sandhar: Right? But that, I love you. I love you as you are. I mean, like, I just had a huge blowout with my mom just before this call. Right? So I'm still on the path.
It's just, there's more compassion. There's a little bit more, like, a little bit more rope.
Leah Piper: Yeah.
Dr. Willow Brown: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a multi-layered process, especially when the lineage or the ancestry runs so deep in one grain, in one track, in one, you know, depression or one pathway, and to break that path, to be the one who's like, I'm going a different way, I'm going a different direction.
Like, it takes so much courage, and it takes energy. It really does. And so, having, this Tantric practice is, I'm sure for you is Abneet is just a really powerful way to resource yourself and to bring energy back to yourself so you can continue to walk a different path. Yeah.
Leah Piper: Yeah. I was gonna say like it takes a tremendous amount of love.
To love ourselves through a journey of transformation, to encounter ourselves, to encounter the shame that we've been passed down with, that's not even ours, but was, given to us. To question that, to love ourselves through that, and then to return back to our family with a willingness to see with new eyes, to have a generous assumptions to, love, despite not always getting the love that we most long for.
You know, it's deep, deep messaging this love thing.
Abneet Sandhar: Is so much like an inner reparenting journey as well. Like, definitely having to constantly build relationship with my inner child and, creating that constant, reparenting journey. That was probably one of the main things I learned, which I didn't think we were gonna do in the Tantra training with Maitreyi.
It was actually hugely a lot about inner reparenting and feeling and building a presence with my own emotions. That's one of my most favorite things to do with my clients is like the actually building a relationship to your emotions, checking into what you actually feel. I find that that's one of the biggest things that people are, there's a spiritual impoverishment there. Such a deep disconnection from what am I actually feeling? Like when I say it it sounds so elementary. Some children sometimes get this stuff better than adults.
Dr. Willow Brown: Totally. Because they don't have all the constructs and all the blocks that we learn as we become adults.
Leah Piper: Yeah, I just am tuning to Brene Brown's special on HBO right now and she's talks a lot about our undefined emotional landscape and that we don't have a lot of language tools to really tap into what we are deeply experiencing in the moment of experiencing it.
And like one of the words she brought to the table right off the bat was anguish. You know, what is anguish? What does it feel like? How do we know we're experiencing it? And like another one is awe and wonder, you know? And awe and wonder. We think they're the same, but they're actually different.
Awe is being in the presence of something awesome and amazing, you're taking it all in. And wonder is being in the presence of something that is wondrous, but you wanna learn about it, you wanna learn more about it. And so it's really interesting to be in the presence of a sensation. And that sensation is very familiar, but there's another one that's really about the learning of this wonder.
I just love the distinctions between those two. And, when we investigate this like emotional landscape, what it gives us is access to more connection with other people. That's right. Because we're defining more connection to ourselves. And we're not just bottom lining things is, I'm okay, I'm good, I'm mad, I'm glad, I'm sad.
You know, it's way richer.
Abneet Sandhar: Much richer. Yeah. And, I can see like the bridge that really reminded me of the work that you're doing with your your clients and students.
Yes, it's a multi-dimensionality cracking open to the multi-dimensionality and the depths of us as, beings walking this earth right now.
And this is why I love the goddess work as well. It's like really giving permission and a luminous blueprint of like a map of living multi-dimensionally. Because I have access to all these visuals, right, of these goddesses and it's like they crack open at that in me. Right?
Dr. Willow Brown: Yeah. These different archetypes that live inside of each and every one of us. Especially as women, we are multi archetypal, right? We've got so many inside of us. Yeah. And some feel really scary and like, oh, no thanks, not interested. And some you're like, oh, she's pretty and sweet and kind. Yeah, that feels comfortable.
I'll go there first. You know? But the more you play with it, the more you go down the road and you embody, the more you are embodying the goddess herself. So it's a powerful process.
[00:19:07] What is Performative Feminity?
Abneet Sandhar: That was another thing I wanted to make sure to get to in this talk with you all is about performative femininity.
Yeah. Yeah, because you asked me earlier like what were my influences or the turning point. For a large part of my adolescence, definitely into my twenties as well, there was, that's what my culture taught me, right, is the internalized misogyny expressed itself as performative femininity.
So there was just like a show going on. And even in today's culture we are overly obsessed with plumping up the woman's body where the Tantric light naturally shines out. So that's like the sensual part of a woman's body are her lips and her breasts and her ass.
But in our society, it's like let's inject those, let's like plump those up, right? So that's the surface, right? It's the surface feminine expression. The deeper feminine expression, which I've been learning these last few years through Tantra is the depth of a woman's heart. It's my love. And how can I let that radiate and fractal through my body, from this deep, deep place. As opposed to performing my femininity.
Leah Piper: Yeah, that's powerful.
Dr. Willow Brown: So how does that shift a woman who is like, I mean really this is true for men too, because we can all go into that like, well, I must perform, I must be good at this, it must look a certain way in order to be of value. How does that shift anyone who learns to move away from the performer and into the authentic feeler? To the actual sexual sovereignty that is within each and every one of us when that gets uncovered and highlighted, how does that shift every part of their life?
Abneet Sandhar: How does it shift? I feel like, for me, like I had to connect to the earth. I had to connect back to my body. I had to connect to the earth, and then I was able to give myself that permission slip. Right? Because I was living my life in a surface way, so I didn't understand that I was woven into the fabric of the universe.
And of course there was lots of key portal opening moments in that journey. Definitely plant medicine, definitely ayahuasca, definitely, deep yogic practice where I'm going slow as fuck, right? Those types of things unlocked that deeper dimensionality of connecting to the earth and feeling all sides of my femininity as opposed to just a performance. I don't know if that answers your question.
Dr. Willow Brown: Yeah. Yeah. I think it does. There's an opportunityfor each and every one of us to reconnect to our body. A lot of us are walking around in our prefrontal cortex, and we do a really good job of that.
We are very well practiced at that, but to actually reconnect to earth. Everything I teach is earth base too and moon cycle base. So really connecting to the rhythms and the fluids and the tides that are constanton this earth plane. We are not just part of the earth, we are the earth.
We are earthlings. We are just like the trees growing out of the ground, and we've got these same cycles and patterns and ebbs and flows to us. So there's an opportunity for us to become more whole through that process.
Abneet Sandhar: It's like a weaving, weaving all the parts back in.
[00:22:31] Exploring Disembodiment Disease
Leah Piper: What is this disembodiment disease?
Abneet Sandhar: Yes. It's what Willow was just speaking about with us living in our prefrontal cortex. I say we're living neck up and I feel like, again, those systems of oppression that we've grown up in, they're creating this phenomenon where we overly emphasize rationale and the capacity to reason and that gives a lot of value to things. I see it as kind of a toxic masculine trait as well.
It's like the constant analysis paralysis, and overemphasis on proving, and reason, and science. And that's seen as superior. It's seen as superior to feeling the body. So really, I feel the disembodiment disease is something that is like a pandemic that we're living in. And so part of my work is to wake people up out of that trance, waking people up out of that kind of numbness and bringing us down to, the whole body.
Dr. Willow Brown: It's so needed. It's needed around the world. And I feel like more and more people are, feeling comfortable claiming that they need that. Claiming that they're ready for that. Claiming that, okay, I don't have that, but I want it. It looks like a good time over there on that side of the , train tracks and like, how do I get over there?
[00:23:54] Cultural Difference Between East and West
Leah Piper: I think a lot of people aren't even aware that they aren't in their body. There's not a real sense of, they haven't had the distinction yet of what it's like to really be in their body. Or they've had a lot of conditioned responses and experiences that have taught them that bodies hurt, bodies have pain. And why would I wanna be in one if that's been my initial experiences. Especially with early, early trauma. Nonverbal early trauma really can set the tone that I don't belong in this thing called a body.
Abneet Sandhar: Yeah. And then it's not safe.
Leah Piper: Or I'm not worthy of a body. And when you live in a culture that really praises and worships intellect and you're groomed right from kindergarten on that what matters is your grades.
And not art, and not what you feel, And so I think we get really raised with this, um, idea of what is prized and what isn't prized. And in the West, when technology, when we're known for all of our innovation and all this technology that we produce, we are a less spiritual culture.
That is the thing that we have sacrificed because we worship money. I'm not looking at this from like a dualistic what's good and what's bad. I just find it really fascinating when you look at a culture like India that has a certain amount of spiritual wealth. You've got communities that support the ashram and there's a heritage there that has to do with a spiritual values that is looked up to, that is seen as valuable.
We don't have that here in the west. I think that what would be really amazing is to take the geniusness of both the west and the east culture and find a way to integrate it. And then I think we're gonna be someplace that feels a lot more balanced and it doesn't have to be so dualistic. What are your thoughts about that Abneet?
Abneet Sandhar: I'm getting a vision of my mom, and how growing up, my mom's in her seventies, and she still, at 4:00 AM will get up and read the Guru Granth Sahib from the Sikh Holy Book from India. You know, that's where she's born. So she's not going to stop doing that.
But I just think it's interesting how I'm kind of a split between the east and the west because I grew up seeing how much emphasis and importance was placed on cultivating that internal spiritual landscape. And that was something that was valued in our culture. And then coming here to the west and seeing, like you said, how much values placed on intellect.
And I think, you know, marrying those two, I think there's beautiful book, East Meets West. I forgot who wrote it.
Leah Piper: Anodea Judith.
Abneet Sandhar: Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Leah Piper: Great book.
Abneet Sandhar: I think that's a really, that's like a map, right?
Dr. Willow Brown: Eastern Body, Western Mind.
Abneet Sandhar: Yes, yes.
Leah Piper: Yeah. It's a great way to learn, the chakra systems, and to understand that there's a psychology and an energy, and also the spiritual enlightenment piece that all can be woven together.
Abneet Sandhar: Yeah.
Dr. Willow Brown: So powerful. Yeah. So tell us what it means to decolonize one's own body and pleasure? Yes. Because you used that word decolonization earlier and there's a theory here that we want to learn about.
Abneet Sandhar: Yeah. Yes. So I grew up in Vancouver, Canada. And here, you know, you go to a yoga studio and it's all Asana based, right?
Right. I mean, It's so funny, my mom's Indian, but she still thinks that's what yoga is. I'm like, "no mom." So the decolonization process is really once again, like taking off those filters and those interpretations and like marrying and anchoring and rooting the mind in the body as opposed to it just being this body thing I do, it's like bringing my spirits.
The definition of "Yog" means to yoke. Right. Spirit with, the body. So the decolonization process for me is, twofold. It's understanding that yoga is not just Asana, it's also like just bringing the spirit into the body. But also it's the way I am with myself is a decolonization process.
So like you'll see this come up when we do Women's Temple Practice and we get the women to touch each other with conscious, loving touch. And it always happens every time where initially they want to touch in what I say is a colonizing way. So it's like grabbing, they're moving with just the mind.
They're just kind of seeing, thinking that that's what the woman wants. And they're just kind of pushing, and shoving her, and massaging her. And we always got to lean back and take a break every time we do this practice. And I'm like, okay, "Let's feel our own hearts first. How's that? Let's feel our own breath first."
And then with that awareness, let my breath guide the movement. If I can just let the breath guide the movement, that is a decolonization process. Because I'm letting the body lead not the mind, and I'm not letting the mind whip, whip my body, which is what you see a lot, right? Like people are driving their bodies like a machine.
Dr. Willow Brown: Yeah. This listening piece it's the feminine, right? It's the feminine way. It's the yin is what you're really speaking to. I see everything in terms of yin and yang from a Chinese medicine background. Andso much of what we think, is going to be felt as value in sexuality is a yang process.
Let me grab, let me pull, let me hug and touch and squeeze.
Leah Piper: It's like a very active.
Dr. Willow Brown: Very active. Yeah. And there's a lack of listening inside of it.
Leah Piper: I really hear like what you're saying is if we can tune in to energetically being more aware, and like being able to feel into, letting your heart lead, letting your breath lead, and then noticing, listening to someone else's body from that place. And you can only do that if you slow down.
Dr. Willow Brown: Are you hearing theme in our interview?
Leah Piper: Take it all in, be in the moment, what are you experiencing first? What are the sensations that are arising in you? And then be conscientious of that.
Because if,what is arising in you is anxiety, and discomfort, or shame, or self-doubt, you don't want to put that into somebody else. Right? if the request coming to me right now is to touch another body, what would I wanna touch them with?
Yes. What would I wanna imprint their psyche, their sensitivity, their beautiful body? What would I want them to feel from me? And then you have to feel that. Feel what it is you want someone to take and have and receive from you. So if that is, I want them to feel loved, then be the love.
Yeah. If you want them to feel like they belong, then be in the belonging. You know? If you want them to feel desired, then feel and tap into your own desire, you know, and give them the gift of your desire.
Are we on the same page? Am I landing in the same...
Abneet Sandhar: I love, I love what you're saying.
It's so beautiful.
Leah Piper: ...tarmac.
Abneet Sandhar: So beautiful. It's like, fill up your own cup first. Cultivate that sensitivity in yourself first. And then when we do get into, you know, outside of Women's Temple and into intimate relating, it's not that I need you to give me something, it's like my sexual ,sensual exchange with you is an overflow of what I've already cultivated.
Dr. Willow Brown: That's so beautiful. And it's powerful. There's so much more confidence that becomes online and available for anyone who is coming from that place. Because you're coming from a full cup, you know? And one of the things that you spoke to Abneet is, if you're getting in the yang mode and you're getting all pushy, grabby, like pull back, take a pause.
Right. Come back to your own breath, come back to your own heart. That way we're not overriding what Leah's talking about. We don't wanna, we don't want to be like, oh, I've got this doubt and shame, let me just drop into love. If we can't do that, then we need to be present and we need to ask for guidance and help so that we can actually be with and break through what's real, what's authentically true inside of you. And that's the path to sexual sovereignty. How would you define sexual sovereignty Abneet?
[00:32:45] What is Sexual Sovereignty?
Abneet Sandhar: Ooh, juicy question. Sexual sovereignty is my capacity to feel my own Eros, to feel my own desire. And like we just said, fill up your own cup.
And also in particular to how I share that energy with somebody else, that it's not like, again, that need energy. Because a lot of times when I speak to women with my clients, especially, it's like the only time they feel they're pussy, the only time they feel their, womb and their sexual desire is if they're having sex with somebody else.
Right? Right. But it's not like they're feeling the, whole womb embodied in themselves. Like I call it walking the womb into the room. Like dancing the womb into the room. And that's some juicy shit right there, right? If you can do that now we're getting into sexual sovereignty.
Now I can dance with you. Now we can actually have a polarity. Now we can play with a Shiva Shakti. And it's not this grabby energy. It's cleaner somehow.
Dr. Willow Brown: Yeah, like when there's grabby energy coming from either direction inside of an intimate relationship, I don't know about the rest of you all out there, but it just turns me off. Like it makes me want to pull back. It makes me wanna pull away. But when somebody's standing in their fullness, it's like, oh, let me get a little closer. I wanna know more about that. So I love this. Walk the womb into the room. Dance the womb into the room. Is this part of the Women's Temple work that you do?
Abneet Sandhar: Yeah, I'm quite influenced by my teachers, but I've noticed the more I'm trusting myself as a, albeit, young facilitator, I'm like, just seeing what the body wants to do. And then I'm like I really love talking, and I love being a wordsmith, so I often just will find these practices that are kind of naturally evolving out of the more and more time I spend with.
Leah Piper: They're giving birth through you. Beautiful.
Dr. Willow Brown: The body will tell you what it wants. And there are things, and I think we spoke about this on another interview, but there's things Abneet that you will bring as a facilitator that no one else could ever bring based on your heritage, your life, your path, your interpretation.
Yeah, that's true. And so just really, I love that you're blossoming into that right now because that's exactly what the world needs.
Abneet Sandhar: Yeah. Yeah, totally. Thank you. Thank you.
[00:35:10] The Nourished Woman
Leah Piper: So, what's next for you, Abneet? What are you, dreaming into this world? What is it that you're excited and inspired?
Abneet Sandhar: So, for the past six years, under the umbrella of the Nourished Women, which was my initial baby, was this beautiful platform where I married nutrition with feminine embodiment. I feel that now after six years of, offering the Awakening Shakti the program, it's a seven week program that I've been developing, over the last six or seven years. Now I want to offer it as just a once a year initiation that takes place actually here in Vancouver, Canada. I still love doing in-person stuff. I haven't totally transitioned my stuff to online yet. I'm really working on launching that for this September and having like a once a year portal where women can come into this, initiation into the deep feminine.
That's what I'm here for.
Dr. Willow Brown: I love that. Well, I've got some Canadian clients to send your way for sure.
Abneet Sandhar: And the other thing I'm working on right now is summers, I like to take it easy a little bit and I like to go deeper with people. So in the summers I offer something called, The Embodied Woman Reclamation Accelerator
It's a mouthful, but I like to work with women's lower three Chakras, because that's where I find in my work where most disconnected from. And so I take all the Tantric Indian ancestry work and chakra system, and then I help to infuse and bring energy, into that woman's body with her co-creating that, process with me.
It's like a coming home journey.
Dr. Willow Brown: So nourishing. So it's like you're, nourishing the nourishing woman. What was that?
Abneet Sandhar: The Nourished Women, yeah.
Dr. Willow Brown: The Nourished Women. It's bleeding into the next incarnation.
Abneet Sandhar: I don't think it's ever going to go away.
My mom's love for cooking in Indian spices. Like every time we do a Women's Temple, I'm always making sure my mom gives me a little mix of her Chai Masala Spice and it goes into the cacao. It goes into everything .
Dr. Willow Brown: I love that. You're bringing your mom in one way or another.
Leah Piper: Yeah, that's right. That's beautiful.
Abneet Sandhar: Well there's the roots again, right? It's like we all need a mama. We need the mama energy in this work. We need to remember our roots and where we come from.
Leah Piper: And I think it's like a way to celebrate her with, and all the complexity that weshare with our parents.
They are our first gurus. They are the first love of our lives. that's true. the first to break our hearts. And so, what a gift, you know? What a gift. And to do the piece around reparenting yourself because I think that is a major initiation into who we are as conscious being is going through and filling up the holes that are left, because that's just the natural part of parenting.
There is no perfect parenting. There is no perfect model of this is how to do it. We all have to survive our childhood. No matter how challenging or blessed it was. There are gaps and there are holes, and it's one of the ways that it's a great privilege to be able to hold our own bodies and our own spirits and do that deep work of filling ourselves up wherever there are gaps. You know?
Leah Piper: Yeah.
Abneet Sandhar: Yeah.
It's beautiful, beautiful work.
Dr. Willow Brown: It's so deeply transformational. There's so many layers to it. So many. And there's no rush. The goddess never rushes, so there is no rush to get anywhere with it.
[00:38:42] Miracle Stories
Leah Piper: So, you know, what I'm kind of curious about Abneet is like, do you have through your career and doing your work, is there like a miracle story?
Is there like a client or a student that, they came into the process one way? and then through transformation, they're now another way. How would you share a story like that?
Abneet Sandhar: It's funny, it's actually happening right now. So we get like hundreds of stories like this over the seven years. So I'm like, I knew this question was coming and I was feeling nervous about it.
I'm like, but there's been so many. how do I like choose?
Leah Piper: Pick three! Who says you can only do one?
Dr. Willow Brown: There's no rule .
Abneet Sandhar: And then it just came to me because I like to stay like with what just happened. So we have a beautiful woman right now in our seven week course, and she grew up with a mother who was basically narcissistic parenting, right?
Parentified her as a child. There was an enmeshment going on and so she said just recently, as her mom was making her daily call to her to unload onto her still as an adult, her mom was still playing out this dynamic with her. And she was able to just say; You know what? I don't have the energy for this. I do not have the energy for this. And this woman shared that it wasn't until after we did the Sacred Rage Practice, until she could feel like that map being like, you know, lit up in her body, which was, I mean, was there all the time, but she just didn't have access to her power before that.
And it's her mom. Like it's easy to lay a boundary sometimes even with a stranger. But, good luck doing it with someone who's really close to you.
Leah Piper: Right.
Dr. Willow Brown: That's where the real work is, right?
Leah Piper: Yeah.
Abneet Sandhar: Exactly. Yeah.
Her whole face was glowing. I actually like took a picture of her because I'm like being a proud dorky mom in that moment.
But I was like, you are amazing. Just to see that transformation and it just happened over a short period span of weeks. It's not like she was raging for, you know, she did that Sacred Rage Practice once and, it gave her something, it trickled into her body over the weeks. Yeah.
Leah Piper: That's, that's awesome.
That's really beautiful. Yeah.
Dr. Willow Brown: It's like it gives you this Chi that wasn't there before. It gives you this vibrancy and this effervescence, this energy that you then have more access, more capacity for the relationships in your life. More curiosity and more interest and you just have more space inside of you.
Abneet Sandhar: Yeah, it free's it up.
Leah Piper: I don't know if protective is the right word, but when you take really exquisitely good care of yourself and have those limits and those boundaries, and you can say no, you know. And you can say yes when it's true, like you do, you've got more energy to be a creator.
Abneet Sandhar: Yeah, I was just gonna say like, because I know I just shared a story about a womanbeing able to establish her boundary. But let's get into the Yes too. Something I've noticed over the years is like women will come in privately & tell me like just the amazing sex they're having.
Dr. Willow Brown: Kudos to that, we love those clients too.
Leah Piper: They just expand it to the next level. Yeah.
Abneet Sandhar: Because they're feeling like, you know, a lot of times in intimacy can happen with women that there's a collapse energy or they're still in their little princess. So when they're able to start to access those larger portals of like Durga energy or like just like owning their sexual sovereignty, and then you bring that to your partner, like now you can have something really juicy.
Yeah.
Dr. Willow Brown: And something that you've never had before. Because you're bringing a new level of yourself, a new level of presence to the encounter. And you've let go of the performer. And so now you're really there. And once you're really there, and you're really feeling, and you're really present, that's when you're gonna start to have experiences you've never had before.
And that's the mind blowing sex that Abneet's talking about.
Abneet Sandhar: Yeah. Because a characteristic that's the same across the board for the women who share those stories with me, is that, like you guys said earlier, slowing down. So now because the performance is off the table and they're actually able to feel themselves, I mean, yeah, it's gonna get juicy. It's gonna get real, it's gonna get so intimate when the heart is open and I can feel my body and I'm with you, breathing with you. I mean, that is the deepest intimacy, right, when my heart is open and I don't have the performance anymore.
Dr. Willow Brown: So I have a question about how do you help a woman because there is, sort of, a gender bias that men are; let's go far, let's go fast, let's go now. And so how do you help a woman, help a man to slow down so that she can feel herself?
Abneet Sandhar: She just takes her hand, she puts it on his heart.
Dr. Willow Brown: Simple.
Abneet Sandhar: It can really be that simple sometimes. And men are starved for that kind of touch too.
Leah Piper: Yeah. They want it even more. They actually have more awareness of wanting that oftentimes more than women.
Abneet Sandhar: Yeah. Yeah.
Dr. Willow Brown: That's their receptive pole, right? That's the place that they don't get penetrated enough. So when you penetrate their heart with yours it's so nourishing and it pauses them.
Abneet Sandhar: Yeah. It kind of unlocks another layer of intimacy.
Dr. Willow Brown: Absolutely.
It's delicious you can have it for breakfast, lunch, and dessert.
Abneet Sandhar: There was one last story that I wanted to share with y'all. Do we have time?
Dr. Willow Brown: Please.
Abneet Sandhar: I realize I don't share this story whenever people ask me about my career and my journey, and even in the women's circles, I don't share it.
And I was just writing notes about today's talk. I was like, wait a minute, because Leah you were asking for testimonials, but you also asked for like an unlocking story. I had that kind of moment in my life, but I don't talk about it a lot for some reason.
So I'm gonna talk about it now.
Leah Piper: Yes please!
Dr. Willow Brown: Let's hear it, girl.
Leah Piper: Oh, awesome.
Dr. Willow Brown: Share, share.
Leah Piper: Yes. Let's get the exclusive.
Abneet Sandhar: Yes, let's get the exclusive.
Dr. Willow Brown: Right here, right now. Here we go.
Abneet Sandhar: Here we go.
It must of been right before I started my business. Because this is what made me start my business. So I was at a sacred arts music festival and yoga festival in Oregon.
Some of you guys know might even know the name of the festivals, Beloved Festival.
And they don't do it anymore, but it was really big then. I was on the last night of my journey and I just, maybe it was all the nights of camping, I don't know what it was. Expanded awareness, doing the yoga, listening to the music.
But it was like sunset on the last night and I was like, you know what? I still haven't really gone there. Like I still haven't really just let it out. So I got completely naked and I took my mom's like, sari fabric and I just draped it alongside my breasts, and I just had some like little underwear on.
And you have to understand, right? Like, yes, I've been a burlesque dancer and all that, but I still come from a traditional Indian upbringing, right? So this is like still edgy for me to do that. I'm gonna walk through this forest basically topless, right? And just let the music fuck me. And so I walk through the forest barefoot, and I get down to the stage and the sun is setting, and there's this really amazing reggae band.
They're like a conscious reggae band. So they're just locked in a groove, you know? And I, just walk on to the floor, the dance floor, like in the forest, and I experience the most profound pleasure I've ever experienced in my life. And it was like ripples, I would just move my shoulder one way and it was like, boosh... boosh... boosh, I was barely moving for three hours.
Leah Piper: Wow.
Abneet Sandhar: And I've never felt that much pleasure. Not just located in my yoni, Right? And I was there for a while, and then I met my then partner that night, and he's like, I saw you dancing during the day. He's like; I didn't dare come near you. You were swapping them away, left, right, and center.
I'm like, okay. That didn't happen because I was just so in this zone. I was in a zone of just feeling my own pleasure, not focus on what other people were looking or thinking of me. And so I always tell people like, well, now I'm telling y'all, I need to tell the story more, but that was the moment that the goddess, the big G, the big goddess energy entered my body.
Dr. Willow Brown: It's like a full body orgasmic dance with the goddess.
Abneet Sandhar: It really was like, yes. Yes,
Dr. Willow Brown: Yes, I'll take one of those.
I love that.
Leah Piper: That's beautiful.
Abneet Sandhar: I think that's when I became hooked and I sunk my teeth into it.
I couldn't let it go. This is something I really want to keep teaching women. I wanna share this with women. I want women to feel this much pleasure rippling through their body. Just hanging out with yourself and like the environment.
Leah Piper: Yeah, being in nature and being connected to source and allowing that communion, allowing that deep, spiritual, transcendent state, to lead you even deeper into your body and to teach you about pleasure.
That it's not just this like centrally located little clitoris that is somehow filled with this tingle. It ripples and expands. We're so much bigger than anyone ever told us.
Abneet Sandhar: Oh, yes, yes.
Leah Piper: Yeah, your story really exemplifies that. Congratulations. That's so beautiful. Yay.
And I'm gonna keep spreading and radiating this message of the goddess and pleasure just through the lands until this body transitions.
I mean, that's all I can do.
Dr. Willow Brown: That's perfect. That's all you need to do.
Leah Piper: I'm in. I'm in.
Dr. Willow Brown: I'm down.
Leah Piper: Let's sign 'em up.
Dr. Willow Brown: So beautiful.
[00:49:29] FREE GIFT
Dr. Willow Brown: Tell us about,the gift that you want to offer to our listeners.
Abneet Sandhar: Yes, it is actually is the same name as the course that we've been guiding for the last few years, Awakening Shakti.
And so it's a form of that it's the Awakening Shakti Waterfall Practice. I think it's just about 15 minutes long, and it helps feminine identified beings. I have to say that because we focus on the womb and the breasts and touching them and massaging them. And so we work from, coming down from the crown and then awakening Shakti, Shakti is feminine power, prana, awakening it into the whole body. In this very specific way that I teach in the Free Gift.
Leah Piper: Beautiful.
Dr. Willow Brown: I can't wait to do that practice. Its going to be super juicy and fun.
All right. Well, it has been such an honor, such a pleasure. Any parting words of wisdom for our listeners?
Abneet Sandhar: Let's get rooted, rested, and radiant.
Leah Piper: Ooh, those are good. Rested, rooted, and radiant. Yes. Meow, meow, I'm into it.
Dr. Willow Brown: There’s a lot of shakti that's going to come from that place. For sure. Yeah.
Abneet Sandhar: I wanna thank both of you so much for this opportunity and as you said earlier before the interview started, it can be nerve-wracking to talk about this stuff, because it's laced with so much of our own shame and insecurity and often we're breaking taboos and breaking ancestral patterns with the work.
So I just wanna thank you for creating this portal.
Dr. Willow Brown: Thank you. Thank you. It's been a pleasure. We've had so much fun. And it's a lot of work too. So we're bringing the yin and yang work together.
Abneet Sandhar: I see that.
Leah Piper: And I'm so happy for Canada that they've got you that you're just shining your light.
Dr. Willow Brown: They're so lucky.
Leah Piper: They're so lucky. And so are we. Cause Canada's close to the US , so we get the afterglow.
Abneet Sandhar: Thank you so much.
Leah Piper: Thanks for the work that you're doing. Keep it up.
Abneet Sandhar: Yeah. Thank you.
Thank you.
Dr. Willow Brown: Thank you so much for being with us today. Yeah, it's been a pleasure.
Announcer: Now our favorite part, The dish.
[00:51:53] Let's Dish on our Episode with Abneet Sandhar
Announcer: We just wrapped up a sweet interview with the beautiful Abneet Sandhar. Did I get her last name right? .
Dr. Willow Brown: Classically trained Tantra educator. So all the way back to Indian culture, she's Indian herself. She really brought that authentic, you know, quality forward.
Even though she was raised in the west, she comes from a culturally very Indian family.
Leah Piper: Very traditional family.
Which had some wounds to it, came with some wondering.
Dr. Willow Brown: And she shared those wounds with us and really that was so inspiring. Because I think a lot of us can relate to those wounds where the, culture around sexuality is very, you know, kept it under wraps.
There's a lot of shame and guilt around it.
Leah Piper: Yeah. And I think it was lovely to have someone who's younger, be at this place in her profession. It really reminded me of some of my earlier days and like how important there was a period of time where this emotional intelligence and this emotional vibrancy and the right to be an emotional being, like I remember a specific time where that was like a real important direct focus of my unfolding and the invitation to help other people unfold that too.
And I think she's in a really rich place of guiding people deeper into what that can mean into the processing of going into those places of rage and allowing yourself to find more of that authentic movement or spirit is moving you and you're not the director. And coming out of sort of the performance idea and into more of this true expression of self.
Dr. Willow Brown: She claims feminine embodiment coach. So, I love that she really takes women into these temples. So they can be held in a container where they can do that, where they can access that rage, or where they can access that sorrow, so that they can discover these deeper parts of themselves.
Leah Piper: So yeah, like wise woman in a young body. Like that's always such a cool mix of inspiration. And I think her piece around dance is really, really powerful. I think her story also of like the before and after transformation story of having sex addiction, porn addiction, feeling like this innocent being who was connected to her sensuality at a young age and then just got shamed and shamed and shamed and shamed.
And then that turns into these shadows and and now she's... and even having been, I can't remember if she said go-go dancer or a stripper?
Dr. Willow Brown: Burlesque.
Leah Piper: Was it Burlesque?
Dr. Willow Brown: Yeah.
Leah Piper: Just burlesque?
Dr. Willow Brown: Burlesque is very sensual, sexy, kind of like the twenties, thirties, you know, the very performance style.
Leah Piper: Yeah. Yeah. It's gorgeous, it's gorgeous.
Dr. Willow Brown: She did touch on that too, like the performance around sexuality.
Leah Piper: Yeah. Right, right. I think that was powerful. How we can put on these masks to try to be what we think is attractive, what we think will get us love. We tie ourselves up into pretzels by not being ourselves.
Dr. Willow Brown: And then we absolutely can't feel what's really there. Yeah. I mean, if you're tied up in a pretzel, there's no way you're gonna feel your authentic truth.
Leah Piper: So, like the awareness of when we are wearing a mask.And I think what wasn't said that I think should have been said perhaps is like when we are wearing a mask purposefully. When we are putting on an archetype, because that was talked about but not articulated. Sometimes you're wearing the mask of the goddess, or you're wearing the mask of the priestess and those are all embodiments. You're wearing the mask of rage. You are embodying an archetype. For a specific reason. And the mistake that people make is they forget to take the archetype off.
Dr. Willow Brown: Yeah, absolutely.
Leah Piper: And then they think they are the archetype when they're not, you know?
Dr. Willow Brown: Yeah, absolutely. And, really, you could be wearing the mask sort of unconsciously of like, this is what I must look like. This is what I should be like in order to be valuable, in order to be sexy, or in order to be wanted.
Leah Piper: Right.
Dr. Willow Brown: So there's a subconscious way of wearing it. And then there's a conscious way of wearing a mask where it's like, I'm gonna put on the mask of the goddess. I'm gonna put on the mask of the priestess right now and step into that role to find that within me.
And then I'm going to take it off and I'm going to integrate that into who I am as a human being.
Leah Piper: Yeah. This was novel to me having grown up as a little Tantra puppy at Source Tantra, when all the imagery was all about becoming the goddess. Becoming the goddess. Becoming the goddess.
Dr. Willow Brown: Right?
Leah Piper: You went representing the image of the goddess.
Dressing like the goddess. Being the goddess. That was drilled into me.
Dr. Willow Brown: Right.
Leah Piper: And I'll never forget having to learn like, I thought that's what I was supposed to be for everyone. And it wasn't until...
Dr. Willow Brown: That's a lot of pressure.
Leah Piper: ... holy shit. No wonder I had adrenal fatigue.
If you feel like you have to hold an archetype all the time, it wears you out. And who can love the goddess, the goddess is to be worshiped. You can't be in a romantic relationship with the goddess because you're always worshiping her. Right? So if I'm holding onto the goddess archetype, I can't really find love.
Because who relates in love is person to person.
Dr. Willow Brown: Yeah. Human to human.
Leah Piper: And even like the queen archetype, people go, I'm gonna be a queen. I'm a queen. And I'm like, yeah and unless you're with a king or your other version of another queen, you know you're gonna get worn out by the archetype of the queen too.
It's a heavy, heavy load to hold.
Dr. Willow Brown: Yeah. That crown is not light. That's why you want to integrate. Right. It's the same thing as doing medicine work or journey work or any kind of deep work. You wanna have the time to integrate into who you are as a person, as a human being in this world. And how you show up in your relationships, these different archetypes. Because it creates a more whole version of you in the world, which is what we really came here to be.
We came here to be whole and happy and healthy. And when you have those three things in place, then you're doing a good job as a human being.
Leah Piper: Well, it's like, for instance, sure, you've got the title of doctor. Right? In addition to that as well as me, we have the titles of teacher. Of healer. There are certain titles that we carry, podcaster, in the world. But when I'm at home, do you think me staying as the teacher is going to make for a good relationship with my husband? No. Cause then he always has to be the student. And there's a power dynamic there. And so I learned a long time ago having been in a relationship with my teacher, that you can't have a successful relationship under those conditions. I have to come back and just be Leah, whatever that is in the universe. But that teacher mantal has to come off if I wanna have a healthy relationship to Matt. You know, and just like you being the doctor, sure there's gonna be parts of you in your doctor's wisdom that's gonna weave in and out of your partnership. But if you're always have to be the doctor all the time in your relationship, I mean, who can measure up? You know?
Dr. Willow Brown: Exactly.
Leah Piper: So cool conversation about archetypes. I think it would've been fun to even take that further with Abneet. I bet she would really add even more to the conversation.So maybe, we'll, we'll have her on again and we can dig in. She, knew a lot about the Indian goddesses and things. Those archetypes part was really, really pleasurable for me. I love that. Tickles my fancy. Okay. She, so she has this thing with her traditional family.Now she goes on this quest, she finds this lineage, and they're actually celebrating these goddesses from her culture. Like what a homecoming. I loved her story.
Dr. Willow Brown: So let us know what you learned, what you took away.
Yeah. How it made you feel, what you loved about it. Send us some comments in the Instagram account. We'll see you there.
Leah Piper: See you there. Love, love, love.
Announcer: Thanks for tuning in. If the hosts seem to know what they were talking about, that's because they do. Leah Piper is a Tantric sex Master coach and a positive psychology facilitator.
Announcer: Dr. Willow Brown is both a Chinese and functional medicine doctor and a Taoist psychology teacher. Don't forget your comments, likes, subscribes, and suggestions matter. Let's realize this new world together.